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I remember it vividly, like a greasy Wes Craven movie. I would be dressed for church and my mother would ask me to bring the Vaseline to her—usually the industrial-size jar. She would hold the back of my head with her left hand because she knew I wanted to run, and then deftly place her entire hand within the jar and aim the gob of petroleum lubricant at my brown melon child-face.
As I screamed, she laughed as she lubricated my face, my head, and my neck with her Southern woman-sized hands. It’s a black thing; you could not let your child go to church looking “ashy”. Some of our skin dries quickly after washing with Ivory Soap. Back in the day, we didn’t have fancy liquid soaps—especially for the face—or those fancy science-based “moisturizers.” A Southern mom knows black skin needs “grease.”
The grease metaphor was also the religious upbringing I had as a child. My grandmother was a devout Southern Baptist with a strong yet kind political hold on her church. Sister Washington was an influence and her sister-in-law—whom she secretly found distasteful due to her “airs”—was a Deaconess within the church, complete with a swept-up silver-blue coiff that was perfected every Saturday and ready for presentation to the “peasants” on Sunday.
My mother, on the other hand, was a devout Jehovah’s Witness, who knew her bible upside down and inside out. She knew doctrine like it was written on a cheat sheet on her arm. She insisted that we attend three meetings a week: Tuesday Night Book Study (1 hr), Friday Night Ministry School (2 hrs), and Sundays Public Service (2 hrs). Five hours per week in meetings and another five in Filed Service, knocking on people’s doors offering to study with them or leave them literature.
That dichotomy between the two women shaped my thinking about religion and a man’s place within it.
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My journey has taught me to respect ALL religions. You will never find me saying that someone’s religious beliefs are false. As a Christian, I believe that there is a God, The Father and his Son Jesus Christ, who redeemed his life for our sin’s. My Foundation of being a man is rooted in Christianity. However, having examined Buddhist thought, I see similarities in the aspects of love, peace, and serenity. So this discussion is essentially based on my Christian-centered upbringing.
I will be the first to say that man, in many instances has bastardized religion, the Children’s Crusades, the African Slave Trade, the Church’s role in scandals show that religion is surely subverted when “man” puts his will first as opposed to the will of God. So religion to some extent has been harmed by man’s willingness to use religion as a means to subjugate, dominate, and rule over others.
Sometimes you hear people say that life should have an instruction manual. In my opinion, we do, it’s called “the Bible”. Religion gave me the foundation of right and wrong. It helped me understand what God’s expectation were of me, and I use that understanding to walk through life and treat people accordingly. God’s most powerful attribute is “Love” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 say, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” Really a simple Foundation of life.
Religion has taught me there is a higher power. A benevolent being that made the sun rise, brought the rain and created the animals we all love. It taught me that man, over thousands of years of existence still suffers from issues that plagued him in biblical times. The sins that man commits are essentially the same as they were thousands of years ago, we just have better technology with which to commit those sins, e.g. cell phones, cheating on our spouses. It taught me that when you lose a loved one to death, that their soul, their spirit, their essence returns to the source: God.
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The beauty of what religion has infused into my soul is this: Man, as a creation, is the embodiment of God’s Image. Genesis 1: 27 states, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (KJV).
Recently, while listening to Pastor John Gray (Associate Pastor at Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church in Houston), I heard the scripture in a way that spoke to me about the “value” of man to God. When you read the beginnings of Genesis where it speaks about God creating the earth, he literally “speaks” things into creation. However when it came time to “make man” he touched us, he breathed life into us. So religion has taught me that man as a species is God’s most significant creation. A creation in “his image” an embodiment of his love. What it tells me as a man is that we have a deeper responsibility than just “living out our lives”. We are stewards, and part of our “job” is to care for others, to care for the earth itself as our home, and to seek to do God’s “will,” which in its lightest meaning is to live the attributes that makes the Divine one, God.
As an adult, I now realize the religious foundation that I was indoctrinated into has no conflicts with what I believe now. If religion is forced upon you, as is the case for many children, you learn the basics. However learning to love what you truly believe comes with time, practice, and a true understanding of your place in the world and its place in your heart. I would like to think that our parents give us a base, and we blossom from there with what we choose to learn, or immerse ourselves in spiritually.
Many religions are similar in their construct (excluding Scientology, which I don’t get at all.) But my religious upbringing has taught me to “walk the walk” to do as “my God” would have me do according to his divine “will”. It taught me to live my life, raise my child, respect the woman I love in the way that God loves me. It has taught me to do good and do no harm. It built a desire in me to be essentially a good man.
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Buddhism, for example, is a way of finding peace within oneself. It is a religion that helps us to find the happiness and contentment we seek. Buddhists develop inner peace, kindness, and wisdom through their daily practice and then share their experience with others bringing real benefit to this world. They try not to harm others and to live peacefully and gently, working towards the ultimate goal of pure and lasting happiness for all living beings. There are some Christians who are also practicing Buddhists.
Personally, I believe that man is wired to worship something. Narcissists worship themselves, for the atheists they essentially believe there is no God, and the center of their belief is “self”. Some people choose to worship money and power. The beauty of what we have as a species is that God gave us “free will” the power to choose and command our own destiny.
“And if it seem evil to you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” — Joshua 24:15 (American King James Version)
Muslims believe that Jesus was one of the most important prophets—not God’s Son. Islam asserts that Jesus, though born of a virgin, was created like Adam. Muslims do not believe Jesus died on the cross. They do not understand why Allah would allow His prophet Isa (the Islamic word for “Jesus”) to die a torturous death.
Islam is a beautiful religion and almost as old as Christianity. (Christianity was developed 1 Century CE, Islam 7th Century CE) The Five Pillars of Islam compose the framework of obedience for Muslims: 1. The testimony of faith (shahada) 2. Prayer (salat): Five ritual prayers must be performed every day. 3. Giving (zakat): This almsgiving is a certain percentage given once a year. 4. Fasting (sawm): Muslims fast during Ramadan in the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. They must not eat or drink from dawn until sunset. 5. Pilgrimage (hajj): If physically and financially possible, a Muslim must make the pilgrimage to Mecca in Saudi Arabia at least once. There is no call to kill people, to blow oneself up and to maim others.
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I had the privilege of hearing an Imam deliver a traditional Muslim prayer at an interfaith service at The Riverside Church in New York. As an American of African descent, hearing the ritual prayer recited from the pulpit, stirred the DNA of my ancestors and lead me to weep in a way I never did before. There was a beauty in it that I had never experienced. It spoke to a part of me that was never spoken too.
My evolution in the understanding of the beauty of spiritual or religious teaching in my life has made me a better man. I understand the need for strength, for truth, for spirituality, for a deep connection with God and the respect for others and their beliefs. That my way, isn’t your way, but if we can meet in the middle at “love” we have a basis in commonality. I understand that connecting with God and his “Will” is essential for my survival in this manifestation. I personally see the beauty in all religions. but what I personally choose to believe I have made clear here, I am a proud Christian, I do no harm, I love my fellow man and woman and I will minister to others by my life example and by helping others sometimes when I can’t even help myself. I love how some words sing to your soul. One of the most beautiful words in any language is “Inshallah”. Muslims believe Allah has decreed everything that will happen. Muslims testify to Allah’s sovereignty with their frequent phrase, inshallah, meaning, “if God wills.”
So, in faith and in true belief in the divine creator, I end this by saying: Inshallah, Thank you Lord Jesus and Namaste: the Divine spark in me salutes the divine spark in you. Worship in a way that brings you peace. That’s what it has brought to me as an adult male, and I wish that for you.
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