Do you struggle to generate date ideas that keep you and your partner excited? Maybe you find yourself getting repetitive and longing for more spontaneity. Sometimes we get comfortable in our relationships and we can miss the “keep dating your partner” element. It isn’t easy to make dates feel fresh when you’re in a long-term relationship, but the hidden secret isn’t to go all out, spend a bunch of money, and put on a show. The secret is making the norm seem extraordinary.
Let’s face it, it is easy to get bored of the routine and after the honeymoon stage of the relationship, it is all too common for partners to become complacent and comfortable. The security of having a partner can lead to a decline in effort as “the chase” is over and the prize has been attained. Today, I want to help you avoid the lackluster emotions you may feel surrounding your relationship and for those who want to jazz things up a bit, you’ve also come to the right place. These unconventional date ideas are sure to revitalize any negative emotions you may be feeling.
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The mystery envelope
The mystery envelope is based on date ideas that you generate however you will then split these ideas into categories, giving your partner the option to decide. You will need to generate 15+ ideas however split these ideas into 3 categories in which the date ideas are relatable (Examples below).
- Casual- bowling, poolside wine/charcuterie board, new cookbook recipe.
- Outdoors/active- picnic in the park, 25-50$ gift card to Athleta, sunset watch mountain-overlook (I live in Colorado), hike.
- Get Boujee- weekend ski getaway, dinner at a high-end restaurant, wine tasting.
How It Works
Write each idea down on a piece of paper and grab three envelopes. Split your date ideas into the envelopes labeled with each common theme. Pick a day of the week as your “date pull day,” grab a bottle of wine, and plan your next amazing date. You’ll have full knowledge of what is in each envelope however you don’t know which date is going to result, so while it is a surprise for your partner the anticipation gives you excitement too. Your partner will inevitably switch up which category they choose from as they know they are limited to 5 of each. Lastly, 15 dates =15 weeks, or maybe you spread this idea out to be one date every 2 weeks and by doing so you just developed dates for the next 4–8 months!
My experience — I created fun ideas that I knew we would both enjoy and while I knew some were on the pricey side I also knew I would save just as much money on low-cost ideas. You might think that the expensive dates were most enjoyable however grabbing a blanket and going to the best spot in town to watch the sunset ended in our most engaging date. Although I knew which ideas were in each envelope, by week 4 I had forgotten what date ideas were remaining and I was just as excited as her for “Date grab Wednesday.”
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Top-secret location
Who doesn’t love a good surprise? Who says a casual date has to be as boring as a “hey babe let’s meet up for happy hour” text. LAME. There’s always room to add excitement even on a Tuesday night out on the town. Instead of sending that robotic text add some mystery to the date by asking your partner when they have available free time. This is when the fun begins. Instead of giving them details, let your partner know a single element: what to wear. Outfits range from a 1–10 scale and it is best to let your partner know if it is an indoor or outdoor activity.
- 1–4– outfits are based on lounging around activities or activities that don’t require dressing up such as; going to the movie theater, cookbook recipes at home, a walk/hike, and picnics at the park.
- 5–7– outfits are based on putting in some effort however not whipping out your Sunday’s best. These are going to be suitable for dates like; happy hours, mini-golf, live bands, and concerts.
- 7–10- outfits are based on going all out! You want your partner to throw on that outfit they wear five times a year. There are a plethora of date ideas to go along with getting fancy including; jazz bars, steak house dinners, and birthday celebrations.
How it works
Once you have an activity in mind all you will need is the address where your date will take place. This is where the mystery comes in for your partner. Which of these example texts sounds more appealing to you “want to do go to the Denver Nuggets game tonight?” or “Meet me at 1000 Chopper Cir, Denver, CO 80204, at 6 p.m. in a 7–10 outfit.” In a simple reformatting of text along with some mystery, you have now added an element of excitement to a casual Tuesday night.
My experience– In my past, I used to struggle with spontaneity and being creative with date ideas and I would find myself feeling as if everything I did was routine, cliche, and boring. The top-secret location not only provides an element of surprise, but it also comes off as thoughtful and playful.
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Adult sex store
NSFW! Look left, look right…For those of us at the office dim your computer. This date idea is soon to spruce up your relationship and if it doesn’t, then I just can’t help ya’. Going to an adult sex store is a gamechanger as you and your partner are bound to go through a sexploration that will elevate your bedroom time to the next level. This one is pretty simple, just get in the car and go.
Be open- Reveal at least one sexual pleasure you have not shared with your partner before
Buy something– Leave the store with at least one item. You don’t have to break the bank to accomplish this.
Use it-…DUH
How it works
Really? Like seriously? Do you need to know how this works? On a serious note, this idea is exciting on many levels. First and most obvious, this date is 99.9% going to end in sex, and while this may be a given who knows what element could be added after a visit to your local sex store such as Romantix. Also, you are building up the anticipation of what you will find in the store and what your partner will share with you. Don’t worry about being shy if this is new to you. Once you’re standing next to a 12″ dildo, videos from 2005, and a magic wand, you’re sure to loosen up.
My experience — I had so much fun! I learned about sex toys my girlfriend enjoyed using along with some hidden pleasures she had. I was also able to be open and playful as I gave her the details of my sexual fantasies. It is one thing to be in bed at night and to ask your partner what do you like, what toys do you like to use, etc however, it is another thing to be in a store full of toys where you can be carefree with what comes out of your mouth, or what you want in it!
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Dating your partner doesn’t stop once you’ve agreed to be in a relationship. Boredom has psychological effects that when unattended, can be detrimental to your relationship. Keep your partner on their toes, while also keeping the excitement and mystery alive.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: freestocks on Unsplash
