Time has passed since I wrote You Need a Coach. Maybe it’s been a year that you started considering talking to a coach. I imagine that some of the things what you wanted to accomplish last year have actually changed, but I bet there are still some big items that are still standing in your way. Maybe you’re still waiting for things to change with money, relationships, that new apartment, becoming a full-time musician, adopting a dog…Here’s the shake-up…
You might need a coach. I’ve given the concept of hiring a coach more thought and realized seven other reasons you need to hire a coach:
- You don’t feel comfortable talking to your friends and family. You love them, enjoy their company, but they don’t get you. Your liberalism doesn’t seem to work with their more traditional views. They’re fun, but don’t seem to give you the support you need. You constantly feel like you’re letting them down.
- You need to identify the whats. So much of the time you know something needs to change, but you’re not sure what it is. But, if something drastic happened, you’d suddenly get into gear and make some big decisions. That time is now. A good coach will help you identify what to adjust to get the results you desire.
- You need to learn the hows. How do I start? What do I do first and next? You’ve processed, gained clarity and awareness, and have looked at historical episodes that contribute to the anxiety or depression…but what are you doing about it? A coach will help you move from contemplation to true action.
- You want accountability. “But how will I stay on-track?” you may ask yourself. With a great coach, you’ll set up manageable goals. Each step will help you move the needle.
- You want better relationships. From your coworkers to roommates, you’ll uncover the ways you’re operating now and you’ll level up. How? Your coach may be able to teach you ways to get close and stay close, help you reduce your skittishness, or help you recognize what makes a person a quality individual to keep in your life.
- You need support with a life transition. Divorce. New job. Leveling up your relationship. All of these transitions are really TRANSFORMATIONS.
- Putting your money on the line will help you take your goals and actions seriously. If it was throw-away money, you likely would not think twice about hiring a coach. You’d hire someone and maybe not participate as fully. But, when you stretch to hire tire the right fit for you, you surely do the work.
Just today, I had a first “official” session with a coaching client who was referred to this blog and then contacted me. He’s super stressed at his new Director-level position. He has three young children (10-year old twins and a 5-year old), coaches his kids’ soccer team, and has a fabulous relationship with his wife. However, he feels a major sense of inefficacy. He is good at managing his own time, but when it comes to leading his employees, he’s struggling with how to teach them more self-sufficiency. He’s always in the role of “dad”: to his kids, coworkers, employees. It’s ultimately a great quality, but he’s exhausted. He can’t get ahead of the curve and he’s been gaining weight to top it off.
As we talked, I asked him how often he gets to date his wife. He replied that they saw a movie a couple of months ago. Though it’s always “really fun”, he doesn’t make much time for this. We chatted about them spending more time together and he said, “you’re right, I want to make more time to take her out.” Ironically, I didn’t suggest it at all! I asked him a few questions that led him to make this statement. He immediately shifted gears and started planning. This man has recently shifted his life by taking this new upper-level management promotion. The compensation package feels great, yet he’s not quite settled with the workload. A transformation is happening and he hasn’t quite caught up to the newness. Additionally, he doesn’t feel like his older parents “get him” and he doesn’t want to put all of his problems on his wife. This is where I come in.
This client is a thoughtful, intelligent man. There is really nothing wrong with him; the issue is he doesn’t feel like himself. He wants to cultivate a new sense of himself and feel confident and effective again.
Our work for the next six months will be aimed at feeling more competent at work (this is the what), strategizing with his team (how), carving time for he and his wife to have more experiences together, and developing an accountability plan for consistent exercise. He needs extra support. I’m really looking forward to our work together.
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Originally Published on After Defeat
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