You’ve met the man or woman of your dreams. They seem perfect in every way. Everything seems to be too good to be true. Because things are going too well.
There has to be something wrong with them. You’ve heard of love-bombing, and you’ve been wondering if they could be a narcissist.
Yet narcissists are rare. There are much less of them than society would have you believe. According to research, only .5% to 5% of people in the U.S. have it, and 50 to 75% of narcissists are men.
That means 95% of people aren’t narcissists.
Even if someone has narcissistic traits, that does not make them one. So you can breathe easy about that guy or gal you are seeing.
Here are seven signs that they are not a narcissist:
It’s not all about them
When a person isn’t a narcissist, they are not self-focused. They care deeply about others and are giving to other people. They think of the other person before they act. It’s not all about them all the time.
They share what they have and treat others around them with respect and dignity.
On the contrary, narcissists believe they are the most important person in their world. They walk around with a sense of entitlement and feel superior to others. You’ll know they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because of these traits. They couldn’t care less how their actions affect people.
They’re genuinely empathetic
When a person isn’t a narcissist, they are genuinely empathetic to other people. They would never intentionally hurt anyone.
They can’t stand to see someone they love suffer. If someone has experienced a loss, they will stand beside them and hold their hand. They’ll help them with their problems.
If you are sad, they’ll be there to comfort you. They are not going anywhere and leaving you alone in your grief.
If your relationship with them doesn’t work out, they will feel bad for hurting you. They’ll admit where they failed.
Narcissists have no empathy for others. They only care about themselves. Sometimes they’ll pretend to be empathetic to get what they want, but it’s all an act.
They’re happy with one love
If a person isn’t a narcissist, they are not afraid of commitment. It’s easy for them to love and care about someone else.
They don’t need hordes of admirers or new love interests. They are perfectly content in a romantic relationship with one person.
They will build you up and make you feel special. Your relationship is important to them. They will willingly make sacrifices for the relationship and keep you happy and loved to the best of their ability.
Narcissists need hordes of admirers. If someone isn’t giving them enough attention, they will seek it out from others. They are often noncommittal.
They don’t play games with your heart
When it comes to romance, a person who is not a narcissist is a grownup. They are honest with you and reliable.
You never have to guess if they love and care about you and will always know where you stand with them.
Your relationship with them feels easy and flowing. They are not abusive in any way.
Narcissists will bring others around to deliberately make you jealous. They’ll play hot and cold with you. They’ll lie to you, gaslight you, give you the silent treatment, and have you questioning your sanity. They will fly into a rage if you don’t do things their way. You will always feel insecure with them, and they like it that way.
They will say they’re sorry and admit when they are wrong
If someone is not a narcissist, they will admit they’ve made mistakes. They will have no problem apologizing for something that they did. And they will tell you when they are wrong about something.
Their apology to you will be sincere because they care about others.
A narcissist can never admit they’re wrong. They’ll never apologize to you for anything they did. They’ll blame you for everything that goes wrong in their lives. Everything is your fault. And they will point out all your flaws.
They give to you and don’t expect anything in return
If someone is not a narcissist and they do something nice for you, it’s because they want to make you happy. They never keep score and don’t expect any favors in return. You will never owe them because they gave to you out of the kindness and love in their heart.
They don’t expect people to admire them because they are kind and giving to others. They have no hidden motives when they give to people.
Narcissists live to exploit people. They are manipulative and only help people when they want others to do something for them. They’ll keep track of every time they did something for you and throw it up to your face if you don’t drop everything to do something for them. They are demanding and expect your life to revolve around them.
They are humble and treat people like they’d want to be treated
If your partner is not a narcissist, they don’t need to be the center of attention. They don’t need admiration from others. They are humble, treat people like they’d want to be treated, and have no interest in juggling love interests.
They are not impressed by others with social status and believe all people are equal. If they love you, they don’t care if you are rich or famous. They love you for who you are.
Narcissists walk around with a sense of entitlement and feel superior to others. They crave attention and admiration, and they are highly critical of others. They believe they are above your social station and should only associate with important and prestigious people.
Now that you know you are not dealing with a narcissist…
When you discover that the one you love is not a narcissist, be sure to appreciate them and realize how lucky you are to be in a relationship with a genuine, caring person.
Because some people aren’t as fortunate as you are.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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