Sexism & Six-Pack: Why Are Korean Men So Hot?

I am a feminist living in a country where the word feminist is often used as an insult. Korea has the largest gender-pay gap in Southeast Asia and the West, according to the OECD, and the potentially most famous history of female sex-slavery in the world. And yet, I have a problem: I find Korean men incredibly hot!

I have been living in Korea for just over a month at this point, and have attended a weekly lecture on female history in Korea, where I learn at length about the deeply ingrained female suppression in this country from history until now.

My professors in several lectures never shy away from mentioning the stark gender-disparity in Korea in modern-day sociology, the history of comfort women during WW2, and the US comfort women during the Korean war, whose footprints still remain fresh around today’s US military bases, despite Korean women increasingly being exchanged for Filipinos.

So clearly, as a feminist, the last thing I should do here is date and support the views of men here. If I wanna stay safe and politically correct. But the problem is that I walk down the street, no matter where, and see so many damn hot guys, I can’t help but react physically.

So in this article, I will discuss the following points:

1. What makes Korean guys so hot?
2. What differentiates Korean guys from other Asian guys physically?
3. Whether or not liking Korean guys as a feminist can be ethical.

Simply hot: Deep voices and black shirts

Attraction is a matter of taste, so if you don’t relate to any of the following points, then: Good for you. That means you are not in the purgatory I am in. If your argument is that we shouldn’t date for physical attraction, then I honestly couldn’t agree more, but at the same time, this is not the article for you.

First of all, the most straightforward feature women consistently identify as attractive in male appearances is their height. As a matter of fact, Korea is famous for its tall men in comparison to other Asian countries, and there is actually an interesting reason for this.

The main factors for growth are genetics, health care, and nutrition. The common argument is that due to Korea’s extreme economic growth in the 60s and 70s, called the Miracle on the Hangang River, people were eating better, the Korean government invested more in health care, and thus Koreans grew taller.

Additionally, the Bergmann’s rule suggests that people in the North are generally taller than in the South, which means that Korea, which is generally more northern in comparison to other Asian countries, might have the genetic benefit here. There are many more interesting details hidden in this if we compare across countries, but we will get to that in the second section.

Anyhow, height isn’t everything. One thing that is directly influenced by height is actually the tone of your voice, and I want to mention this because it is an influential factor for me. Statistically speaking, the size of the vocal tract and general size of a human are correlated, and a larger voice box, with thus elongated vocal chords, leads to a much lower voice.

It works like a violin or cello. The larger the strings, the deeper the sound, and the same is true for human voices. This is ironic because though I don’t really care about height, I care a lot about voice, and so I am sort of trapped.

Another factor that makes Korean men hot is fashion, which is ironically rooted in the convergent culture here, with an over-focus on fads. New fashion trends arrive with crazy speed, and while in Europe it would be considered cool to be unique, Koreans are known for quickly adapting to new trends.

This has a mesmerizing effect on men and their looks. Generally, they look more put-together because they actually dress like actors or models they see, since they follow trends. At the same time, they wear predominantly black and unicolor shirts, no weird prints, and overly freaky fits.

There are so many men in all black, proper shoes, wide jeans (no more skinny bullshit), and properly fitted shirts, leather jackets, and suits here, it really is a treat to my burdened eyes! To all Western guys: If you wanna dress like a hot guy, take a page from the Korean men’s stylebook.

Finally, the hairstyle, which I lovingly refer to as the Korean mushroom, is really doing it for these guys. Of course, this is again a matter of preference, but this half undercut really suits their face shapes and thus complements their general look and neatness. A few outliers have found pleasure in long hair or buzzcuts, but even those have ensured that these styles really suit them.

I am personally, most unfortunately, extremely sensitive to buzzcuts when done well. Maybe I have seen too many men trying to hide their hair loss in Austria…

Finally, there is the solid foundation of why Korean guys are hot: Because they care about how they look. Now, as a hyper-individualized citizen or Western man, you might find the emphasis on appearance revolting, and honestly, go ahead. On many points, I deeply agree with you.

I just happen to also like men who can shower, keep a neat haircut, wear proper clothes, and work out from time to time. Did you know that most of the factors contributing to a healthy pregnancy, birth, and child are actually determined by a healthy man? Maybe invest in yourself at least from time to time, guys and women might naturally find you more attractive.

Are Korean men self-absorbed?

Maybe, but maybe they just care about how they are viewed and maybe that again is a testiment to their ability to consider others? Or maybe I am just romanticizing…

The flavors of Asian men

Here, I need some additional input from any readers who have some experience in dating men in different Asian countries, because somehow it is a weird red flag for women to discuss types of men across nations.

Interestingly, discussing the difference between women from different regions (the most prominent example on my feed being stereotypes of Eastern European women) is typically ok. Heyooo gender-gap!

Let’s talk about height first again. You might ask yourself: Why are Koreans so tall, when many Chinese and also Japanese regions are technically just as northern?

In fact, men from northern regions of China might exceed Koreans in height by now, but the data I found is not so secure, and when discussing China, there is often a great regional disparity. Due to large differences in access to financial means and health care across China, we are seeing that Chinese young men in metropolitan universities in China are, in fact, taller than Koreans, but that is not the general average. Rural areas with less access tend to foster less growth.

Japan is a very interesting comparison here, where the actual calorie intake and the intake of protein in particular are lower. Though these are only theories, it is clear that the Japanese have an extremely low calorie intake per capita, which we tend to only consider when discussing why Japanese women are so slim.

But the same healthy lack of calories might also (on top of possible genetic factors) keep Japanese men smaller. They are often known to also be less bulky and slimmer in figure, not because they focus less on their health or their looks, but because they view it differently.

The ideal in Japan still is being slim over being bulky, and though looking put-together is important, the Japanese practice far more liberty in their style. Fashion in Japan is often a way to express belonging to a certain group, and in general, Japanese hairstyles also follow this rule.

Japanese men tend to have what I would call waxy hairstyles, which is especially present in the media.

Chinese men also have an ideal of being extremely slim, which also gives them a certain look that might not appeal to Westerners as much as Korean men do. Furthermore, Chinese culture can sometimes be quite flashy, and so rich Chinese men, especially in metropolitan areas like Shanghai or Beijing, might sometimes look a little odd and overly confident in a hideous suit by Gucci that they would really never wear if it wasn’t branded.

Generally, and I do suppose the Korean beauty industry has a large impact on this, men elsewhere in Asia just subjectively don’t seem to be as hot. Living and dating in Taiwan was often a walk on a blade: Guys would continuously be shorter than they said they were, and though I couldn’t always pinpoint why, they just were not as hot.

If you are looking for an Asian beach-boy, I guess the south of Taiwan, especially the south-east and the eastern coast, is your best bet. These guys tend to be a bit taller, more muscular, and the tanned type equipped with a surfboard.

Sadly, many of the Taiwanese guys try to protect their skin from the sun, so as not to get dark, which is really unfortunate in my opinion because it just makes them look infinitely hotter in my eyes.

Another problem with these men is that they likely only speak Mandarin, and if you compare having to learn Korean to Mandarin, you’d better choose Korean for your own sanity.

My personal horror, especially in the south of Taiwan, is their choice of shoes. Most people, especially during the rainy season, resort to wearing plastic flip-flops virtually everywhere. At my university, plenty of men walk around with these ugly ass things on their feet, and with or without socks, they always make me cringe.

Look, I get it, it’s hot outside. But at least wear leather sandals for fucks sake!

Is Korean male hotness killing feminism?

Feminism in Korea is a huge debate, and I have many drafts that I am crafting at the moment about different topics within the feminist debate in Korea that I have been fortunate to learn about at my university thus far.

And yet my subjective problem is this: Korean men are so hot that if I walk through a highly populated nightlife area like Hongdae or Euljiro, my head is spinning. And I’m not going to lie, I enjoy it.

I know many Westerners who come to Korea at the moment are posting about their unmet expectations when arriving in Seoul. They post Reels comparing what they thought was Korea in dramas and K-pop to the reality, and always the conclusion is that men in Korea are not as hot as they are made out to be.

This observation doesn’t surprise me if all the Koreans you know are confined to screens. Trust me, the US is quite disappointing to a European used to Hollywood movies, too. Similarly, I was disappointed by the lack of actually hot surfers in Australia. Reality hurts sometimes.

And yes, maybe it is a subjective interpretation, but I find that on average, there are many more hot guys on Korean streets than there are in the same surroundings in Europe or North America. And this is problematic.

The fragility of male self-identity in Korea has caused huge issues with misogyny up until now, leading to a high number of assault crimes, sexual or not, against women.

Did you know that phones in Korea are required by law to make a clicking sound when taking pictures, to prevent upskirting? And that is just one prominent example.

Violence against women is the one thing; the rules of dating here are the other. Having been on a few dates now, I can tell some great differences between Taiwan and Korea: Guys tend to ask you on a date quite quickly, compared to Taiwan, which is not inherently a bad thing. Actually, as someone who is not a huge fan of online conversations, this suits me.

However, even men that I have never replied to or who I have never agreed to meet will keep asking me for a date, almost as if they suddenly forgot the meaning of private sphere.

Similarly, you are also expected to reply and be open to going out a lot, and texting is almost a full-time job here. People get into a relationship fairly quickly, and the pressure to be in a relationship is much greater than in Taiwan or Japan.

Going to dinner alone, without a spouse or group of friends, is pretty hard since most dishes on the menu are made to be shared and food is often paired with alcohol, which seldom leads to great outcomes for women in any culture. Oktoberfest and its notorious spike of sexual assault is just one cross-cultural example.

On top of that, relationships here are highly interdependent, and intensive. You are expected to truly adjust your schedule to your spouse’s needs and fit many anniversaries aand monthly couple-days into your routine. If I am being honest the idea of pero-pero day, white day and others seems really cute, but I am wondering about how much freedom is left for a couple to just be themselves.

This focus on love has led to something that I already know from Taiwan, but in a much stronger form: Princess treatment or love-bombing.

In Taiwan, it is enough for me to not send a message for 3–4 days, and unless I apologize, the man will retreat, assuming I am not interested and don’t want to hurt him. In Korea, I can try to show disinterest and voice my opinion without the intention to hurt, and the guys will rarely take the hint.

I get regular messages from guys whom I have shown no interest in, but they still ask me every other day whether I am free. A guy my friend went on a date with also love-bombed her so extremely hard that she started feeling guilty and needed some healthy reality checks from fellow women so as not to victimize myself.

And all of that despite all of these men, thus far, respecting my boundaries when I marked them clearly enough. But the marker I have to use is not just a pencil, but an Edding highlighter in bright yellow.

On top of that I am critically aware of the stereotype of Western girls being more easy and thus they are often labelled as “open-minded” which is really just slang for easy to fuck. Ironically the same label is not attached to white men, despite the fact that many white guys who arrived with me have Korean girlfriends, while nearly no international girls in my classes do. Coming from Taiwan where the disparity is so large I see virtually only the combo “white guy-Taiwan girl” this is not an unfamiliar observation.

So if you think that dating as a foreigner would be easier, think twice. I can’t help but ask myself for safety reasons whether the guy across from me just needs a box ticked on his bedside table. Of course not all men think like that and there is a lot of genuine interest, but as a woman you learn to be cautious, especially if you are not the type for a one-night stand. Feelings are more fragile than glass, especially when you have to fear being just a color.

It is easy to see how these practices of dating and relationships can lead to treating females as medals to earn, who have to be swooped away by presents and attention. The step to violence in this system of entitlement to a relationship is not far.

Light at the end of the tunnel?

And so it is no surprise that Han Kang’s The Vegetarian was selected as the literature nobel-prize winning book in 2024. Korea is far from done addressing its issue with sexism. Ironically, these are notes from a country of a booming industry built on love and cuteness in dating that is far from what Westerners are used to.

As cute as the K-dramas look, being frequently criticized by Western viewers for lacking actual sex scenes (yes, this is actual criticism I have heard from my Austrian friends on why they don’t watch K-dramas), sexual assault in Korea is actually common, and respect towards women is not yet truly established.

But there is hope: I find that the younger generation does a better job at countering sexism. Hopefully.

Every week, I am lucky enough to participate in discussions about gender disparities with young Koreans and other internationals, and I am happy to report that most of the men in these classes are the first to point out the gender issue in Korea.

Only time will tell whether these are just words without much meaning or the truth of a new generation of Koreans on the rise…

Don’t forget to tell me which of the actors above you think has been accused of a scandal involving women wrongly, and I am excited to also know what makes the “white sheep” look less predatory in your eyes!

An expanding library of my articles is now available as a podcast on YouTube and Spotify on“The Mugcast” or “Midnight Mugshots”. I’d also be happy to have you over for a cup of coffee on my other socials, which you can check here.