We would all love to say that we’ve got this relationship thing figured out. But let’s be honest and admit that most of us need a little help in this area; what we want isn’t always what’s good for us.
*Keep in mind that this could work the other way too. If your significant other is doing these things to you, red flags!
- You’re reading this right now. If you didn’t happen upon this article just out of curiosity, there’s something in your subconscious that caused you to lurk in this direction. Think about this and take some time to explore it further.
- You’re feel the need to creep on or stalk your significant other. Whether you’re literally following them around secretly, or just cruising on their social media… there’s a problem here. You should be able to trust your partner, and if you don’t, maybe it’s time to call it quits.
- You want to constantly change them or are constantly comparing them to someone else. Change is great, but it shouldn’t be forced — especially by another person. Learning to love someone means learning to appreciate all parts of them and accepting the parts that we don’t exactly love. No one is perfect, and if you’re constantly focused on what’s wrong and how it outweighs the good, head for the door. Lastly, if you’ve been thinking about how they aren’t like “X”, then you might need some room to sort your feelings out and get to the root of this problem.
- Your values don’t align. Granted, you don’t need to have the exact same values, but your top three should be the same. For example, if you love saving money and someone else loves spending it, you’re gonna run into issues. If you love hanging out with people and someone else love staying in, there might be some trouble later on. If you love going out to eat every night and someone else values home-cooked meals, again… there will be conflict. Our values determine our lifestyle and having this aligned within a relationship is crucial.
- You don’t support their goals and dreams. Whether you think they’re dumb or just outright don’t make sense, partners should be able to support each other and dream on. Believing in each other’s hopes and dreams is a huge part of loving each other; if you can’t do that, it’s time to re-evaluate.
- You can’t be yourself. For some reason or another you feel less than yourself or something totally other than yourself. Stop it. Be you, and if you can’t be you with this person, it’s time to take a hike. You should never be ashamed for being yourself and loving what you love.
This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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