The first recorded evidence of marriage ceremonies uniting man and woman dates from about 2350 B.C., in Mesopotamia. Over the next several hundred years, marriage evolved into a widespread institution embraced by the ancient Hebrews, Greeks, and Romans.
But what exactly a marriage means beyond the legal documentation?
It is the solidification of love between two people for the rest of their lives. They say love eventually happens and all we have to do is embrace it. It means you can’t force love. It happens when the time is right.
The average age for getting married is around 27 for women and 30 for men. It means statistically all the people in the world are finding true love at almost the same age.
Quite a coincidence!
They say all people are different in their own way. Then how come it is possible for 7.8 billion people to find true love in the same age range?
This question raises further doubt on people’s decision to get married. Just like we should know the right reasons to get married, it is equally important to understand what’s not.
In this article, I am going to explain the six reasons not good enough to get married. Marriage is one of the biggest events in anyone’s life. You sure don’t want to go unprepared.
Let’s take a closer look.
1. Marriages Everywhere
There comes a time in everyone’s life when suddenly all their social media is populated by — X days to go, Can’t wait for X days, or Love forever posts. It is normal to freak out by seeing everyone go in the same direction.
This is more commonly known as FOMO (Fear of Missing out). People around you might or might not be getting married for the right reasons, but their influence over you to get married is definitely not the right reason.
People always rush into marriage when these types of things happen around. And as they say — Wise men says fool rush in.
2. Afraid of Being Alone
It is fine to be alone, but not lonely. Yes, there is a difference. In the former, it’s by choice, whereas, other is due to circumstances that make you vulnerable.
You’ve probably heard this before, but no one is going to be happy being with you if you can’t be happy being by yourself. You have to accept yourself before wishing someone else’s to do so.
This is definitely not the right reason to get married as it shadows the practical reasons behind your emptiness. Do you really want to tell your children that you married their mother because you were lonely?
3. Parental Pressure
I am from India. This is the most common excuse I heard from people for getting married. It is as ridiculous as it sounds. Parents are human beings, just like us. Sometimes they can get carried away by seeing others getting married, and they want the same for their child.
It is our responsibility to make them understand why we don’t feel to get married now. Your silence could be considered as an acceptance in this case.
Marriage is a big event of life that literally transforms it. You should be doing it with 100% consciousness and not by some external force.
4. Sale won’t last long
If you won’t find someone soon, then you’ll be alone or won’t get better half. This is one of the common arguments thrown at us, including our family and friends.
Let me explain this with an analogy.
There is a Black Friday sale. One of the biggest sales in the USA. You don’t want anything for now. People are forcing you to buy something, else nothing would be left by the end of the sale, or the best will be sold out.
Yes, that is exactly how it sounds. Just because some good prospects are getting away doesn’t mean you have to change your life’s biggest decisions.
5. Status symbol fallacy
Some people see marriage as a status symbol. They get married thinking they’ll parade around town with their spouse, and people will bow in their presence like they just conquered Westeros or something.
Getting married to prove something to someone — or yourself — is a god awful reason to do it.
The fact is that a marriage isn’t going to work unless both people are in it for each other and no one else. The world doesn’t care if you get married. Billions of people have done it. You don’t get a gold star and extra warm cookies on the plane just because you’re married.
6. Rebound Marriages
This is the worst of all. It’s the same as rebound relationships. No one should get married without being entirely over their ex. This is the worst thing to do with the other person.
You should give yourself enough time to get over your past relationships before moving to this important phase in life. Make peace with your past to have a better future with your partner.
Marriage is a life-changing experience in anyone’s life. A person should be mature enough to respect and embrace the changes it brings along. Sometimes, it feels like we want marriage to be happy, but we should be satisfied with other aspects of our lives to enjoy the joy marriage brings.
If you marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons, then no matter how hard you work, it’s never going to work, because then you have to completely change yourself, completely change them, completely — by that time, you’re both dead. — Anne Bancroft
These reasons to get married will probably seem obvious and maybe even a little ridiculous. But for a lot of us, it’s hard to take an objective look at our own motivations and see them for what they really are.
Sometimes, the real intentions are hidden a few layers deep, and we only need someone to shake them to the surface for us. The good news is once you’ve acknowledged your true reasons, it is easier to understand whether it’s worth it or not.
Previously published on medium
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