Who, being loved, is poor? — Oscar Wilde

What is love, you ask? I’ll tell you what love isn’t. It’s not talking on the phone all night long whispering ‘I love you’ to one another. It’s not about the expensive gifts, the diamond rings, and vacation in Paris. It is definitely not the irrational jealously, I’d call it mistrust. Love is not a competition, there is no scoreboard. It’s definitely not all about intimacy and sex.

Love is beyond these materialistic pleasures. It’s all about finding the right person and spending the rest of your life with them. It’s about being a good listener even when your partner is silent. It’s about shouting ‘I do’ a million times inside your head even before stepping upon the altar. It’s about trusting and supporting each other in difficult times. It’s about equality, balance, and value. It’s about dreams, desires, hopes, and emotions that need to be equally heard and addressed. It’s about truly wanting to make each other happy. It’s also about sacrifices and compromises as well.

People say, ‘love is a partnership and not ownership.’ And here a few things I would want my partner to know.

I will be your biggest support and your worst critic.

Dear future hubby, you will always see me cheering for you from the front row with my hands up in the air. I might even do a little awkward dance for you after your victory. Even when the whole world discourages you, I’ll stand tall and cheer for you. I’ll be your best cheerleader! I’ll fight the entire state for you and prove to them that you are worthy.

But you also need to know that I’m an obnoxious critic. I’m going to be brutally frank about everything that you do. I will always fire your mind with honesty, and real feedback will be at your doorstep. My intentions are always the best for you because that’s the power of love, I guess.

It’s ok that you have different interests.

We are not going to love the same things. It would be ridiculous to think that we would. You might love football while I like goofing around in the kitchen. You might read books about money while I read books about fantasy. And that’s ok. We are all different and that is something I will respect about you. These differences will only make you the person you are and I will never try to change your interests.

The most exciting part about having different interests is that we get to mutually learn from one another. How amazing is that?

Let’s never give up on each other.

Things will get hard sometimes. That’s a rough truth about relationships. We are going to argue, fight, and fume over the tiniest of the things. We will probably not talk for hours and I mostly will sulk all day long.

But even when our ego takes over and asks us not to apologize after the fight, let’s remind ourselves how much we truly love one another. Let’s make it work, always. Let love win over everything else.

You’ll be my best friend!

How will I know that you’re the one? When I feel like I can share anything with you. The foundation we build from scratch which reflects love, admiration, respect, and trust will tell me that you’re my best friend. Romance is secondary, if I feel safe and secure with you, you’re the one. I want to lean on your shoulders and tell you how my day went. And honestly, I expect the same from you. Tell me about the littlest of the things that excite you and I will be a good listener.

A little disclaimer, being my best friend, you will also have to deal with my mood swings! No backsies!

We will still have our own identity.

Yes, you’ll be my husband and I’ll be your wife. I cannot tell you how honored I’ll be to be your wife. But that’s not it. That’s not how the world should identify us.

You will have your own career and I will have mine. We sail on the same boat rowing on either side with different visions in our minds. We put family life ahead of everything but careers are not to be ignored. We will support each other to grow professionally and personally.

We will probably have a lot of cats, oops!

Ha-ha, no compromise, dear future husband!

If you are going to sign in for a life-long deal with someone, make sure you’re comfortable head to toe with them. Relationship rules are easier said than done. You need to know what exactly you’re getting into. So I guess, it’s better to know who you are and what you want before diving into one. Knowing what kind of spouse you will be, will help you understand the kind of spouse you would deem fit.

And when you find the right person, I’m sure they’ll make you feel whole. That person will assemble all your broken pieces into a beautiful mold and make you a stronger person. You will no more have to pretend to be someone else, they’ll accept you the way you are. So ladies and gentlemen, don’t give up on love.