Some Doors Close for Good

He was one of the good guys: patient, loyal in ways most modern hearts will call foolish, and hopeful past the point of reason. He wasn’t perfect. Who is? Yet, he tried even when his trying wasn’t met halfway.

Their marriage did begin with all the right promises. However, it wasn’t long before things started to fall apart under the weight of all her antics. She didn’t start by breaking his heart. Oh no. She chipped away at his spirit little by little. Sometimes she would apologize just enough to keep him around (I suspect) but never enough for her to change

I know for a fact that my friend gave it everything, and it took every last ounce of patience he had, he tendered apologies he didn’t really owe and gave many second chances. That is until one day, he was standing right in the middle of their living room, realizing he was drowning and was going down for good, he whispered to himself something that signaled the end: “To hell with it.”

To his credit, after all he had been put through, it still wasn’t a loud moment. There was no shouting, no slammed doors, but it was final! But don’t misunderstand, kindness still remained in him, only that particular door leading to it was finally shut.

Some doors close for good.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go.” — Herman Hesse

The doors are closed not necessarily out of bitterness but closed out of the realization and acceptance that some people will just keep taking as long as you keep giving. In which case, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to walk away…and mean it.

The emotional architecture of endings

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” — Steve Maraboli

As we are taught to (over)romanticize resilience, we are therefore encouraged to always keep fighting for things and pushing through the pain. As a result, letting go is never easy. However, we should also recognize that there is a very grown-up kind of bravery in accepting when something isn’t good for us anymore and moving on, making room for better things.

The pain may linger, because naturally the memories won’t just disappear, but you finally get to the stage of respecting your own peace more than the idea of keeping someone else comfortable.

When life forces you to take a detour

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” — E. M. Forster

Know that when the sometimes sudden, unexpected closures in the different facets of our lives occur, they are usually a redirection in disguise even if they do feel like punishments: you can lose your job and discover parts of yourself you never had time for before; you can get left behind, and that is when you realize that your worth was never meant to be negotiated in the first place; you can say goodbye somewhere, and somewhere else it is a warm hello!

It is only natural that endings may hurt, but, on the bright side, they also bring much-needed clarity. Don’t you think?

There are some doors you can’t walk back through.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” — Maya Angelou

This is especially true when you consciously don’t walk back, because doing so would end up costing you the person you became after you left. That wouldn’t be fair. That person has earned the right not to go backwards.

My friend now knows. He is still healing, but happily he understands that what felt like a collapse then was actually a crossing-over, a new beginning.

What remains

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” — C.S. Lewis

There is something almost sacred about knowing a door is closed forever. As your sense of presence is now sharpened, you learn to appreciate what you still have, and even the voice in your head finally begins to sound like the real you again.

Fortunately, so it is with my friend. sees that now. And despite all, he carries a certain softness that, I have come to believe, only those who have actually done the hard work of letting go can possess.

And some doors close for good.