Stop Decoding His Mixed Signals — And Do This Instead

We’ve all been there: trying to analyze every text, every phone call, every irl conversation that feels a little bit “off.” If you often find yourself walking away from him with more questions than answers, you might find yourself getting lost in the game of “was he really trying to say he loves me?”

As someone who has been there far too many times to count, I want you to stop and take a deep breath. Stop decoding his mixed signals — and do this instead.

Stop Thinking About Him

It’s difficult to stop overanalyzing, especially if you’ve been doing it a long time or across multiple relationships. But it forms an unhealthy pattern that’s hard to break.

There’s a good chance that you’re addicted to decoding his signals at this point. Studies have found that toxic relationships can be as addictive as a cocaine or gambling addiction, due to oxytocin levels we experience when it comes to the highs and lows.

The best way to end the addiction is to stop thinking about him. Stop trying to decode him. Stop trying to analyze his behavior.

Breaking the cycle is the healthiest thing you can do.

Remember That No Answer IS an Answer

A lot of the time, we get hung up waiting for the person we’re dating to give us an answer, often about commitment. But sometimes, we need to acknowledge that no answer is an answer.

Instead of waiting for him to change his mind, the best thing you can do is accept his lack of a response as a response. It might not be what you want to hear, but the reality is that you deserve someone who will meet all of your needs. You deserve someone who won’t just leave you hanging.

At the end of the day, you deserve more than mixed signals.

Find Someone Who Doesn’t Give You Mixed Signals

It might feel impossible to find someone who’s straightforward when guy after guy has given you mixed signals. But the truth? Mixed signals come from people with an avoidant attachment style or commitmentphobia. It’s a sign of emotional unavailability.

There are guys out there who are securely attached — and who won’t leave you wondering. There are guys who will define the relationship clearly early on. That is the type of love you deserve.

The Bottom Line

No matter the situation, you deserve someone who gives you more than mixed signals. You deserve clarity and commitment. Sometimes accepting that someone isn’t for us can be difficult, but moving on clears the path for someone who actually can give you everything you’re deserving of.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.