Life is full of ups and downs. If you’re lucky, you’ll have more of the former than the latter. While having good times can be fun, the valleys are often more educational than the peaks.
There’s a lot going on in the world now. I bet you might be feeling pretty anxious and uncertain about the future.
Between the stress of maintaining a stable income and staying healthy, we all have a lot on our plates!
So, think about some of the things you have done over the past few months.
How did it go? Did you get the result you were looking for?
If you’ve had success, that’s great! Keep up the excellent work.
Did you run into some problems? What was the issue? How did you handle it?
If you‘ve failed to accomplish your goals recently, you’re not alone.
When I reflect on why I wasn’t able to do what I set my mind to, I used to think that the issues were simply beyond my control. It had to be someone else’s fault.
I told myself, “If only things had worked out for me, things would have been different.”
I was dead wrong. I realized that I was sabotaging my chances of success.
The best news you’ll hear today is that one of the most significant factors that can affect whether you succeed or fail is what you tell yourself.
The things you tell yourself and the attitude you bring to any situation can often determine your success or failure before you even start working.
The even better most bestest news you’ll hear today is that most of the factors that determine your success or failure are totally within your control.
Let’s take a look at some of the life lessons I learned and how they can help you.
These came from the things I used to tell myself that kept me from getting ahead.
You’ve got the skills. You’ve got the know-how. Now you just have to use it!
Are you ready? Let’s go!
“I can’t do it.”
There were times when I really wanted to do something, but I didn’t believe in my ability to get it done.
This is where doubt and fear start creeping into your mind.
This form of self-sabotage stops you before you even start.
If you find yourself in this situation, it could help to do some more research to find out what skills are necessary.
Armed with that knowledge, you can come up with a specific plan to start building the skills that will give you the ability to learn and grow.
“I’m not exactly sure why I’m doing this.”
Ever find yourself having this same thought? Knowing why you want to do something is a crucial step in accomplishing your goals. You have to be crystal clear about what you are trying to accomplish and why you’re doing it.
If you start working on something and you don’t have an idea of what you’re working towards or where you want to end up, you’ll just be working in circles.
Sure, you’ll feel busy, but you won’t ever really get anywhere.
If you ask yourself the question, “Why am I doing this?” and you don’t have a clear, specific answer, that’s not a good sign.
It’s probably a good idea to go back and think about what you hope to accomplish, what kind of benefit you’re getting from an activity, or how what you’re working on will set you up for success.
“Ehhhhhh, it’ll be okay if I do that later.”
Procrastination used to be one of my strong suits. Okay, I’ll stop lying, sometimes it still is!
When I was a college student and had more free time than I do now, I would usually wait until the last possible moment to start working on something.
I used to pride myself on getting things done under pressure.
It turns out that pressure was totally unnecessary!
Sure, I’d turn something in and get a decent grade, but that was after pulling an all-nighter just get it done! Now, I’m sure my work would have been much better if I had started working earlier.
Many times, getting started on a project is the hardest part. Once you get in the motion of working on your goal, it’s easier to keep up the momentum.
Having a timeline (and sticking to it) also helps fight off the procrastination beast.
“That doesn’t look so tough. It’s a piece of cake. I got this!”
Underestimating a task can be a real dream killer. By not knowing how much work it’ll take to complete a goal, you may become discouraged when reality slaps you in the face.
The fall from this level of overconfidence and pride can be a pretty hard one.
Avoiding this problem isn’t super complicated. Again, the answer lies in knowing more about what you want to do. You just have to do a little bit of research.
It can also help to reach out and learn from others who have done what you’re about to do. Their perspective can help you see things from a different angle or think about things in a new way.
“I don’t need to look that up. I already know everything about it.”
Adopting a “know it all” attitude is a shortcut to the stop-growing-zone. It can make you feel smarter than you are, but you’ll be limiting your personal growth.
Admitting you don’t know something is often the best way to truly learn more about it.
Not only should you be looking up information about anything you’re serious about doing, but it also helps to get information from multiple sources.
Just be sure that your sources a reputable and can be trusted.
That doesn’t only include different people, but different types of media like books, blogs, websites, online articles, podcasts, audiobooks, video, and TV. They’re all useful!
“Yeah, you know. I almost finished, but it just didn’t happen.”
This one is one of the most tragic things you can do to your goals. I would spend a lot of time on something, get right to the finish line, and then run out of steam.
If a project is worth starting, then it should be worth finishing!
Although sometimes it may be better to cut your losses and move on, make sure you’re ending something for the right reasons.
Dealing with this problem comes back to that timeline. What will it take to finish? Will there be a benefit if you do? A consequence if you don’t? Find a way to tough it out a bit and get the job done.
Moving forward: self-sabotage as fuel for your future success
We’ll often fall short of our goals as we continue reaching towards success. We’re all human and we’re bound to make mistakes. Failing isn’t the crime here. The real crime is failing to learn from it.
How we react in the face of failure tells the tale of our character.
When everything’s going right, people can see what you can do.
When nothing goes your way, people see what you’re made of.
Successful people don’t stay down after life’s challenges (or our own bad habits) hit them with the one, two knockout punch. Staying in the fight is the only way to achieve victory.
Whatever your goal is, make a plan, stick with it, and keep going!
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Previously published on medium
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Photo credit: Unsplash
