These are quotes I’ve heard from single friends when they met someone they liked. The only thing these people and their relationships have in common is that none of the relationships lasted.
The reasons for ending the relationships varied. But, the need to spin a tale about why their new interest was the ‘one they had been waiting for’ was constant.
But, when you really have met your person, does having a normal ‘how we met’ story’ make it any less special?
Do we need to have a perfect love story?
How real couples meet
I noticed it first with an American friend who outlined all the ways she was connected to Germany. This was indisputable proof that she and her German boyfriend were destined to be together. Until they broke up. The next guy was her soul mate because she had had a dream about him the week before they bumped into each other again. Until, they too, broke up.
It didn’t matter that she had nothing in common with the German guy. Or that the guy she dreamed about was controlling and needy. When talking about her significant others, she didn’t describe how much fun they had together, or their deep emotional connection. But she never hesitated to share their love story as proof that they were destined to be together.
Ironically, most of the couples I know that have been together for a long time don’t have a cutesy love story. They met at a bar. Or through a friend. Or at the gym.
My experience
I met my partner on Tinder. We went on dates, started traveling together, and now we’re married.
There is no particular anecdote I share from how we met. There was no obscure detail that let me know he was “the one.” We had a strong connection from the beginning. We liked each other and had a fantastic time together. We still do.
The important part about our “love story” is that we met. In a world of almost 8 billion people, two people connected and started to build their lives together. It’s already amazing. And it doesn’t matter if we met on an app, or by romantic coincidence.
What really matters
While a dramatic love story can be fun to share, it often hides what’s important in a relationship.
Does it matter if you both like your coffee the same way and your orders got confused at Starbucks? No. But, it will matter if they’re kind even when they’re stressed. Is it an interesting coincidence that he has the same middle name as your favorite uncle? Sure. But, what you really need to know is if your life goals are the same.
. . .
If you have a fun story about how you and your significant other met, that’s great! But, don’t let the tale overshadow the genuine details of your relationship. There doesn’t need to be a made-for-TV version of why you’re meant to be if you really are.
Finding the love of your life is already sweet enough.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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