Take Your Time; You Will Never Find the Right Man When You're Desperate

First thing first:

Marriage is not destiny.

Your fulfilment in life is not tied to having a relationship or marriage. Some so many married people wished they were never married.

They are taken for granted, compelled to quit their jobs and take care of children against their wishes, and get disrespected because they don’t contribute financially to their marriage and day-to-day activities of the relationship.

You can be married today and still not be happy.

So if you think marriage will fill your life with happiness, fulfilment and peace of mind, then you need to think again. Your life gets more complicated and vulnerable to invasion by betrayal, mental health issues, being taken for granted and overworked in relationships/marriage.

So if you don’t find it in as a single, you Will likely have a worse life experience when in a relationship or married.

That said, here are three reasons you will make the wrong relationship decision when you’re desperate:

Desperation clouds your insight

What does that mean?
Even if you see a guy who smokes, has a bad relationship history of being a serial cheat, and has gone to jail for beating his ex into a coma, you won’t be able to infer that he is still the same person. That he might be possessed with the spirit that influences those hurtful behaviours again in the future.

All you see is a nice, quiet guy who is deeply in love and is willing to paint the sky purple just for you.

Always consider people’s past and project the possibility of their past behaviours and attitudes into the future. Why? People rarely change. Trust me.

A desperate mind sees anything as a solution

To a desperate mind, anything that looks like it is it. When you are desperate, you are like someone thirsty in the desert. You will drink every and anything that looks like water.

It is the same in a relationship.

When you are desperate, even the wrong men based on your criteria for your ideal man seem like the right one.

Before you know it, you compromise on your values and self-respect. You will follow him to the club and sniff hard drugs, and get drunk because he is a drunk who does not see anything wrong with being a drunk.

All in the name of having someone to call your boyfriend.

It is sad.

I do not think that is the kind of future you want for yourself.

Better be desperate to improve yourself than getting into a relationship.

In fact, be passionate about being a better you than you were yesterday.

Buy courses and improve your baking skills. Be so good that people come to you to learn what you have mastered. And then develop a course and sell it online.
Content creation is the business of the future. You can’t afford to be left out. Find a niche and be an authority in it.
Get books about being a high-value woman and work to make yourself one.

That is a more honorable pursuit than being desperate to be in a relationship.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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