I’ve been married for twenty plus years, so my Valentine’s Day experience has run the gamut from elaborate dinners to years where we couldn’t afford to buy one another a card. But nothing could have prepared me for the level of wooing I would receive this week…from my 6-year-old.
Said six year old climbed on my lap and held my hands in their own. Looked up with big blue eyes and asked, “Mama, would you be my Valentine?” How could I say no? Still, I thought it meant we’d share some chocolates on the 14th.
My six year old has come into the room every day leading up to the big one to give me a hug, to put a blanket on me when I was cold, to bring me a snack from the fridge, and to share their snack with me. All of these acts were followed with, “Because you’re my Valentine.” I love my child anyway, but boy, having someone perform small acts of kindness every day is pretty special.
That thought crossed my mind, and I realized someone does perform these small acts every day. My spouse, who makes my tea every morning, for so long I no longer know many sugars I take. They kiss me three times—“Good luck, the road, I love you”—every time we leave each other. When there is only caffeinated soda at the local store, my spouse stops and grabs a decaffeinated one at another store just for me.
But we tend not to notice the little things our spouses do when they do them every day.
We’re so busy getting to the next moment in our day, we forget to appreciate the one we’re in. Perhaps it’s the repetition, or that we begin to expect these actions as part of our routine. It’s only when it’s out of the ordinary that it catches our attention, hence the hoopla around Valentine’s Day and other romantic dates.
Living in the moment means recognizing those small gestures more often. So make a cup of tea, sit down, and reflect upon all of the small gestures your loved one performs each day. You may find yourself appreciating your significant other all the more for it.
In turn, here are 11 small things you can do to cultivate romance throughout the year.
1. Make their morning tea/coffee.
2. Write out small encouraging notes and place them in different pockets in their work/school/laptop bag, so they’ll find them throughout the day.
3. Do one of their worst chores without being asked—take out the trash, wash the dishes, change the kitty litter, or clean the toilet.
4. Check and fill the fluids in their car.
5. Offer to make/take them to lunch.
6. Plan a surprise walk on the beach.
7. Text “I love you” and other romantic sayings randomly throughout the day.
8. Make cute little heart-shaped ice cubes and keep them handy for the next cold drink.
9. Buy a book they’d like and leave it on their pillow.
10. Fill a jar with candy and little notes with compliments written on them and leave it in their workspace.
11. Take time to thank them for all of those small gestures you thought about while drinking your tea.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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