When you have a two-year-old, you have most likely experienced this wonderful phase often called “terrible twos”. The title is not wrong, terrible twos are in fact terrible, when your cute little two-year-old turns into the bossiest little human, you have ever seen. Throwing tantrums left, right and center. All day, every day. It is like being a hostage negotiator.
Perhaps I am the only parent in the world, but I have often thought, that I am a terrible mother, because I do not know how to handle my two-year-old’s moody behavior. Even worse, when I find myself thinking: “Oh my god, I have spoiled my baby, and now they are acting out, or… maybe there is something wrong with her? “ Yes, I know, I am a master of overthinking. But sometimes you just do not know what to do, and cannot help but to blame yourself, because everything you do is wrong, and causes a massive drama with your two-year-old. In situations like these, I truly feel like a terrible parent, who has failed at raising a good child.
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
The whole terrible twos phase (YES, a phase, a word we all want to hear), has made me reflect, that this is a huge learning curve, for both, a child and us, as the parents. As this a first time during a child’s life, when they are grown enough so they can explore the world and the environment they live in. However, as they now realize, how grown and independent they have become, they are convinced that they can do everything themselves and at their own terms. That is all normal and expected behavior. Words every parent needs to hear! Hallelujah! But because they are still only two-years-old, their verbal, physical, and emotional skills are not well-developed, which means that a child can easily and without any reason become unsatisfied. This is because they cannot communicate adequately just yet, even though they think they can, because they are already 2 years old, and can run the world. Can you imagine being able to discover all the drawers, cupboards, wardrobes, toilets in your house for the very first time. It is overwhelming! Sometimes we just need to put ourselves to our little one’s shoes and remind ourselves, that they are just learning and discovering the world. They have so much to learn and discover. We just have to be there for themselves, and somehow get through all these delightful phases.
“This is just a phase.” Is something I need to remind myself 105 a day, if not more. Also, trying to stay calm and just taking nice deep breaths. Trying to breathe and calm yourself with a two-year-old, is like telling a woman giving birth: “…just breathe through and the pain goes away. “ I wish it was that easy. All jokes aside, it does help a lot, not to get into argument with your child and not to follow their tantrums, but just to let it go. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. But it most certainly helps me to be happier and a better parent.
It is so much easier said than done, but there is actually nothing else we can do, it doesn’t help to get upset with your child, it doesn’t help if you get upset with yourself. Serenity and patience are the only virtues that will help with this glorious terrible twos phase. At the end of the day, we are all just humans and we have emotions, and we are not the best version of ourselves every day. It is okay! The most important thing is simply to try to be the best every day, little by little. You as a parent, and your two-year-old are both learning and growing, everyday together.
Photo by Leo Rivas on Unsplash
Even though the terrible twos phase is a bloody long one, it is still a phase, and soon your child stops throwing tantrums all day every day, but instead, they will perhaps do it every other day. So, hold your horses and take long breaths! But in all honesty, laugh a little, cry a little and the day goes on. At the end of the day, your child is the most precious human in the whole wide world!
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This post was previously published on A Parent Is Born and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Pixabay
