Love… a simple word with many unknowns. We all struggle with it somehow. Whether we are in a relationship, waiting for one, or even fully independent.
When I was fourteen, I searched for the concept of love. Why it happens, how it happens, the role of our bodies… everything!
I’m twenty and now I know that it is much more complicated than what I imagined. Love is a start for a deeper connection. It’s a question which needs an answer! It’s an addiction to the presence of that one special in our life.
There are some facts that we live but don’t know. Isn’t that amazing that the subject we struggle with everyday, can be this complicated?!
1. Relationships don’t begin with words; they begin with safety.
First impressions matter. The way we behave, the way we connect but when does love start becoming a relationship?
The moment we stop performing and start being real. The moment we’re not afraid of being ourselves anymore. The safety which makes someone feel like home.
2. The brain can die of loneliness, but the wrong relationship can wound it just the same.
Being alone is not easy. There’s a deep desire to be a couple. Getting older doesn’t make being alone easier.
We somehow underestimate how deeply a broken heart can hurt us.
Did you know anything about broken heart syndrome?
Not all of us struggle with it, but did you ever know that it can be that serious?
3. Everyone is looking for someone who understands them, but half of us don’t understand ourselves.
The need of getting understood is crucial. But what do we really want from that understanding? Empathy? Sympathy? Support?
A lot of the time we don’t know us! A lot of hours therapy, a lot of traumas and a lot of experience and still there are a lot of times that we don’t understand ourselves.
So we end up with two confused souls holding hands in a romantic psychological drama.
4. People change. Just because someone loves you today doesn’t mean they’ll love you tomorrow.
Eternal love? Not impossible. But here’s a question:
Are we the same people as we were 6 months ago?
Yes and No. The “Yes” is not an issue but the “No” part might be!
The situation that we go through, shape our character. The traumas, the heartbreaks, the losses…
Even money problems can change the way we behave.
In other words I can say the person we choose and love can change. Eternal love? Not impossible but needs effort and same journey.
We ask so much of love.
But maybe love is asking us to grow, to stay curious, and to keep choosing even as we change.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Michael Fenton on Unsplash
