Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold
Hey Wendy,
What’s the best way to transition to friendship after going on a date with someone?
Betsy C.
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Hey Betsy,
First, determine if you truly want to be friends with them, for reals.
If you totally enjoy them as a human, and you want to hang out with them in the future (just not romantically), then what you do is simply tell them you want to be friends. And, ask them out on a friend date in the same breath. It could look like this:
“Hey, I don’t think we’re a match romantically, but I want to be friends — seriously. Do you want to go see the Roots concert with me at the Fox on May 14th? If you don’t want to hang out as friends, I understand that too.”
Don’t assume they want another friend; that’s most likely not why they dated you in the first place.
And if you just don’t want to date them and don’t know how to get out of more dates, I recommend thanking them for their time, then say, “We’re not quite a match for dating” and move on.
The folks to succeed at dating and find love are the ones who are willing to “next” not-a-fits quickly and gracefully.
Good luck.
. . .
Wendy Newman is the author of 121 First Dates. She’s a dating, sex, and relationship expert who’s led hundreds of workshops and revolutionized the lives of over 78,000+ women internationally.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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