I don’t get NASCAR. Their season starts in February and ends in mid-November. And their richest and most prestigious race is the very first full race of the season – the Daytona 500.
I see it like the NFL starting their season with the Super Bowl and playing the season in inverse order. Or Major League Baseball playing the World Series in March, and then playing the season in inverse order.
I’ve always held back sharing myself completely because I didn’t think anyone would care. And when I do get in a social situation, I’d feel like I’d have to really turn it on.
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It makes no sense.
I mean, I get it. Stock car racing began on those beaches of Central Florida. And the race has always been in mid-February.
Understand, I’m using NASCAR and auto racing as a metaphor.
The best and most successful drivers are the ones who have the following:
- They get the best luck with their equipment (no crashes, blown out tires, plenty of gas, and their engines don’t fall out through their floorboard.)
- It’s truly a team effort. From the mechanics and the pit crew members, to the spotters standing on top of the racetrack who are in constant communication with the drivers – it’s a team effort.
- They drive the smartest race!
I want you to notice something. Notice I said they drive the smartest race. They don’t necessarily drive the fastest.
“Man, I knew you didn’t know anything about racing! You gotta be fast, man. Remember what Ricky Bobby said?”
What did Ricky Bobby say?
“I don’t remember. It was something about being fast. Or was that Lightning McQueen?”
Yeah, thought so.
I’ll never forget the Daytona 500 in 2007. Even I got caught up in this one.
It was Mark Martin and Kyle Busch battling for the lead in the final two laps. Martin must’ve had the pedal to the metal, but Busch was right on his tail.
Kevin Harvick was waiting in the pack. He was using the other drivers to propel him forward. And he ended up going around Martin and edging him at the finish line.
When it comes to auto racing, keeping your foot through the floorboard the whole race isn’t the wisest move. You sometimes need to lay back and let other people do the work, before you come in for the kill.
I have a really cool breakthrough I want to share with you. And I believe it’s something many of you can take some value from.
I haven’t joined a racecar driving school. I’m taking improv classes. Big difference.
I’ve never been the most social creature in the world. I’ve never been that outgoing.
I’ve always held back sharing myself completely because I didn’t think anyone would care. And when I do get in a social situation, I’d feel like I’d have to really turn it on. I’d have to turn on my sense of humor, my intelligence, and my charm.
I had to do this to keep the other persons’ interest.
For the record, this is me thinking way too little of myself. Not the other way around.
It’s like an old mentor from my radio days once said to me – I had to turn on the man before I could turn on the microphone.
Or as my mom told me for years – “play the game, Ryan.”
I have taken Jim’s and Ann’s words to heart for many years. But their words no longer serve me.
I’d argue that they never served me at all, but I digress
In the past week or so, I’ve had several opportunities and chances for social interactions. A few have been purely social, but the rest have been in a networking context.
I made a declaration in my mind that I was going to take my foot off the gas and just let my natural being shine through. This was before I even sat down for the first meeting.
Let Ryan be Ryan.
So here I am engrossed in a conversation with another coach from the area. We’re drinking coffee at 3 in the afternoon. We’re in the Bucks of Star after all.
I’m not feeling tired. I’d been eating well, sleeping well, and was really feeling on top of my game.
But I found myself fighting off sleepiness.
For so long, I put so much energy into turning on the man I thought I was supposed to be that I didn’t have the energy to keep me awake and alert.
Being myself takes way less energy – mental, physical, and spiritual. This relaxation allowed me to connect with this person on a pretty deep level in a short amount of time.
All because I took my foot off the gas and was myself.
And I was able to tap into this time and time again.
For so long, I put so much energy into turning on the man I thought I was supposed to be that I didn’t have the energy to keep me awake and alert… Being myself takes way less energy.
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Here’s the lesson I want to share with you today: when I took out the performance I had been putting into the space, I was able to use my natural charm and charisma to be able to connect with these people.
This next sentence may sound weird coming from a life coach…but really feel me here.
Y’all…quit trying so damn hard!
I’m serious, quit trying so damn hard! You’re going to blow out your engine before you can cross the finish line.
Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you need to downshift, put your foot through the floorboard, and call upon all the horsepower you have, and power through. But those are the exceptions.
Here are a few tips from King Ryan’s Throne that you may want to call upon as you go into a new social situation. To keep you from pushing too hard. To take you out of being yourself.
- Are you nervous? If you are, then get reconnected to the why of what you’re doing. Remember your “what for” and you’ll be able to pull back. I found myself going into one of my social interactions this past week and wondering why I wasn’t more nervous than I was. This was because I was present to my what for. Be intentional!
- Take care of yourself. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Take care of yourself. Because if you’re distracted by being hungry or if you aren’t feeling well, then there’s a good chance you’ll push too hard and run out of gas. Or blow a tire.
- It ain’t that deep! Seriously, it ain’t that deep, y’all. It ain’t nothing but a peanut. Remember there’s another human being sitting at the table with their own insecurities. See that, and you won’t force things as much.
This ain’t rocket science. You’re a human dealing with other humans. You’ll be fine.
Just play things smart, and you’ll be fine.
Remember, this is how the tortoise beat the hare.
I’m still taking on new clientele for 2018. I’d love to work with you to support you to power up your life! Send me an email at [email protected] and we can schedule a sample session.
If you want this, you have to be willing to play your life smart and not keep the pedal to the metal the whole time.
Quick plug:
- King Ryan’s Writer’s Boot Camp is still taking registrations. If you’re looking to create a major writing project – a book, play, screenplay, Ted Talk – but you don’t know how, come to boot camp. It’s a 10-session virtual seminar designed with all the support you need to kick this project into high gear.
- Go here for more information or to register.
Photo by Daniel M. Hendricks