The Charming Thing About Friends That Don’t Show Up

Relationships are worth fighting for, but you can’t be the only one fighting all the time. — Author

No matter who you are, you will have that one friend who doesn’t care as much as you do.

He doesn’t sacrifice as much for you as you do for him. She doesn’t give back as well as you give to her.

Even right from the day you started being the closest of friends, you’ve always seen that sting in them, that it seems you are the only one fighting to keep the friendship sailing.

If this is you, I want you to know that it is almost not a good enough reason to stop loving them or to be concerned about fighting for the friendship.

But is every friendship worth fighting for?

If it’s a cross-gender romantic relationship, then yes. You have to fight for it. But most folks don’t see friendships as to be that important.

Meanwhile, the most successful people in the world have made immense progress through a link from one friend or another. Regardless of your endeavors, some of these friends still won’t give you the same energy. Most may offer far less than you anticipated, while others may grant far more.

Before actually deciding if your relationship with a friend is worth keeping, you have to be sure about the essence of your friendship together.

Know your stance with them, know if they are mere school friends or workmates, confirm if they are more than that. So you don’t go expecting a closest friend relationship from someone who sees you as a mere workmate.

When you finally define the relationship, these are the enthralling things about them you should know, regardless of their ignorance of your love for them.

Sacrifice

You don’t take this seriously, but most of these friends are more sacrificial than you. Sometimes you are so addicted that you only see that they don’t show up for you as much, and you forget how impactful they have been to you.

Some of them are your best motivator — They push you to limits you didn’t know you could get to.

Some of them are your shelter for deep thoughts and re-strategizing — When you are about to take a new leap, you always confide in them.

Some of them are your hub for inquisitions — They help you with the most worthy questions about your life.

An extra burst of energy

If they show the same and an extra level of energy when they finally show up, then they are the real deal. That friendship should be left to sail at all times.

Most of the friends who don’t show up are always doing the wrong thing at the right time. That is why you notice that they tend to be more precious in giving the same level of energy or more when you do see.

They might make you uncomfortable and skeptical when they are not there. But once they show up, they reply to all of your emotions with a ton more energy.

They suddenly match all your efforts with an equal amount of love in another way.

They are unaware

Simple as a rookie. They don’t know that they hurt you badly. Look on the bright side and imagine that it is who they are.

Do know that some folks don’t even care to hug you, even if you have just spent days in a hole with them. That’s how some of these friends are. They are just not aware that it hurts you.

Most of the time, look at their relationship with their immediate relatives, and you will see that they have a closed-up nature.

That is just who they are, and it doesn’t affect their love for you.

They send you updates.

How is life over there?

It is one of the questions that solve most of the problems in a one-sided friendship.

Once he-or-she sends regular updates, trust me, you dont have to be bordered about not showing up so well.

It means they are focused on facing their demons or trying to get themselves together.

Most of these folks don’t give you the same energy as you want. But when you observe properly, you will confirm that they have done more than you have in a whole new form. And that, you are also a friend that didn’t show up in some aspects of their lives too.

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Finally

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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