The Cost of Indifference

Nowadays, being happy has become a fever, almost an obsession. It’s necessary to be happy no matter the cost, no matter who gets hurt.

Obviously, we all want to be happy. Obviously, suffering is very bad.

But it scares me to realize that for some people the most important thing is to simply be happy, even if it means stepping on others, turning other people’s heads into stepping stones.

As the famous French writer André Gide said, “I feel an imperative obligation to be happy, but all happiness obtained at the expense of others seems odious to me.”

As bad and painful and devastating as it is to feel unhappy, I prefer to suffer than to smile because I don’t care, because I simply don’t see in other people a world of feelings and possibilities, someone like me, someone like the people I love and care about.

Obviously, we are not obligated to love all people equally. Obviously, some people really can’t touch our hearts or have hurt us so much that loving them becomes almost a miracle. On the other hand, it’s very sad when someone’s happiness is directly related to the ruin of another.

In public life, we see many examples of this type of behavior: for a few to squander millions of reais, the majority of the population is deprived of the bare necessities. For a few to live with the maximum of luxury and comfort, the majority needs to learn to survive without the basics.

In large corporations, for profits to be devastating and impactful, the well-being of employees is sacrificed. In short, a small part, often, seizes as much benefit as possible, leaving almost nothing for the majority.

In private relationships we also find examples of this type of situation: in some families, for one member to be satisfied in their needs and fulfilled in their desires, the other people need to sacrifice themselves and give up what is important to them. Some love relationships are also like this: often, for a marriage to last for years and years, one party does all the other’s bidding and renounces themselves. This type of union is becoming less and less common… Thank goodness. On the other hand, people sometimes exaggerate selfishness. We still need to find a balance between respecting oneself and respecting others. But this topic is for another article…

Yes, I prefer to suffer for feeling a lot to smile for not caring. I prefer to face difficult days from time to time because the pain of others affects me.

Because I get out of my bubble and selfishness, out of my comfort zone to relate to those who need me. I never want to get used to misery, injustice, or cruelty. I want to feel my chest tighten when I see an elderly person begging or rummaging through the trash. I want to continue feeling the urge to walk towards those who need help, even if the help is just a simple word.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

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The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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