Let Them Miss You
Nobody really tells you this part about relationships.
They tell you to communicate.
They tell you to text back fast.
They tell you that if you’re not talking all day, something must be wrong.
So you end up doing this thing where you’re in each other’s pocket.
Good morning texts.
What are you doing texts.
I’m bored texts.
Calls that last until one of you falls asleep with the phone on your face.
And at first, it feels like love.
It feels intense. It feels close. It feels like, wow, I finally found my person.
But slowly… something weird starts to happen.
You stop having anything new to tell each other.
You stop missing each other.
You stop being two people and start becoming one long, overstimulated conversation.
And nobody says this out loud, but… that’s how a lot of sparks die.
Not from cheating.
Not from fighting.
Not from some big dramatic betrayal.
They die from overexposure.
From being too available.
From being too constant.
From never letting the other person actually feel your absence.
Because here’s the uncomfortable truth:
You can’t miss someone who never leaves.
You can’t appreciate someone you’re always consuming.
You can’t stay curious about someone who’s narrating their entire day to you in real time.
And don’t get me wrong I’m not saying disappear.
I’m not saying play games.
I’m not saying turn love into some cold, distant thing.
I’m saying… you’re still a person.
You still have a life.
They still have a life.
You still need your own hobbies, your own friends, your own little world that doesn’t include them in every single frame.
Because when you stop doing that, something subtle breaks.
You start relying on each other for all your stimulation.
All your entertainment.
All your emotional regulation.
And that’s a lot of pressure for one human being.
That’s how attraction quietly turns into obligation.
That’s how excitement turns into routine.
That’s how love starts to feel… heavy.
The irony is, space doesn’t kill connection.
Space creates it.
It gives you stories to come back with.
It gives you energy to miss them with.
It gives you that tiny spark of, oh… there you are.
And that spark matters more than people admit.
Because missing someone is where appreciation lives.
It’s where desire breathes.
It’s where you remember, I actually choose you. I’m not just… always here.
Some relationships don’t die because people stop caring.
They die because people stop having room to care.
So yeah.
Text them. Call them. Love them.
But also… go live your life.
Let them wonder what you’re doing sometimes.
Let them feel your absence a little.
Let them miss you.
Because attraction needs air.
And honestly?
I’m way more scared of a relationship where we’re never apart…
than one where we’re both still whole.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Jonathan Borba On Unsplash
