Boys are being shortchanged in schools. How can we fix this?
Twenty years ago in a faculty meeting at a prominent women’s college, faculty members were discussing a current report called “How Schools Shortchange Girls.” It recounted the many ways in which boys were favored over girls in our schools. One of us, a faculty member at the time, rose to point out that while this was a very real issue, in fact boys were also being shortchanged. We needed, he said, to attend to the ways in which both sexes suffered under gender discrimination and patriarchy. A palpable tension rose in the room. The idea that boys might also be victims of an unjust gender system was still unfamiliar to many and unwelcome to some.
Over the intervening years, although contemporary education reform has ostensibly been gender-neutral, the effort to bring girls up to speed in math and science has been enormously successful, while boys have fallen further and further behind by almost every other measure. Thus, while the feminist movement has wrought welcome change—the wage gap between the sexes has shrunk dramatically, women have far more diverse career choices, and the number of women in the professions and public leadership has ballooned—its work remains largely unfinished. We believe that completing the vital work starts with acknowledging how patriarchy has also discriminated against boys, inhibiting their performance in schools by enforcing the “boy code,” discouraging boys from valuing reading and writing, hindering their ability to learn empathy, and distorting their emotional development in myriad ways.
For instance, the gap favoring girls’ verbal skills is far greater than that favoring boys’ math/science skills. Boys are diagnosed with ADHD much more than girls, are more likely to drop out or commit suicide, are disciplined far more often, and go to jail and commit violent crimes at rates that eclipse girls. Additionally, despite claims to the contrary, schools have historically been better fitted to girls who mature faster than boys, are willing to sit still longer, and have generally been more readily tractable. Until recently, the limited expectations and high value placed on compliance for girls in our culture kept them in their places, but as these fall away, girls are surging ahead while boys, discouraged, all too often are simply giving up on school as a way to achieve recognition. In effect, we have put boys and girls more directly in competition while rigging the system to favor the girls.
Unless boys can find success in athletics, in the classroom, or with girls, they are far more likely than girls to end up “losers”. And, given our male propensity to arrange ourselves in pecking orders, to be at the bottom of the pile can create lifelong scars which further perpetuate the abuses of patriarchal, über-male behaviors.
As boys grow to manhood, their post-secondary options appear to be waning as well. One study of educational aspiration indicated that just over half of the boys sampled planned to go to four-year college while two thirds of the girls did. It seems that guys no longer even aspire to college at the same rate as women, let alone qualify academically. Already the female-male ratio is 60-40, and within a few years, two out of every three college graduates will be women. Denied, or failing to see, a viable path to responsible adulthood, increasing numbers of boys are turning instead to video games, drugs, or crime. Just as we earlier squandered the contributions that females could make to society, we are now at risk of losing the positive values that males bring. Too few boys are becoming the “good men” that a world of equality and justice requires.
So how do we become the kind of men the world needs in the twenty-first century? The work of re-defining the meanings of gender is a primary work for all of us at every age, but one place it must begin is in our schools.
Here are seven steps that we can take now for starters.
1. Emphasize community. Schools must be caring communities that value and cultivate belonging, common focus, and personal agency. Perspective-taking, empathy, and an ethic of care will be important to ensure that an authentic climate of mutual respect and equality is fostered between and within the sexes. Human development is predicated on our interdependence, and schools must be healthy communities where young people feel the support and nurture of others, and learn how to be part of a greater whole.
2. Promote universal early learning. We can help boys (and girls) by making schools more developmentally appropriate for boys, starting with early learning. Boys are generally slower to mature than girls, entering school a year or more behind girls developmentally. The kinds of skills valued in Kindergarten (and now preschool) are tougher for boys to master than for girls, and are being demanded at earlier ages than ever before. If special encouragement for girls in math and science is appropriate, then surely such encouragement for boys in verbal skills (where the gender spread is much greater) is in order for boys, with a particular emphasis on Pre-school to Grade 3 programs. This means emphasizing not just the first two Rs but also social/emotional learning, a language-rich environment in which boys can learn to name their complex feelings more fully, and opportunities to practice the kinds of executive control needed to reduce impulsive and violent behavior.
3. Differentiate instruction with an eye on gender differences. Classroom teachers are making great gains in instructional strategies by individualizing curriculum and instruction. These efforts have flourished from a growing body of research on assessment and instruction that guides us to understand students academically and personally to design more effective learning experiences. These efforts to differentiate also need to consider gender-based patterns of learning and preferences so that better instruction might include activities in groups that account for sex differences. Pre-service and in-service training should focus on increasing teacher awareness of the relationship between learning and gender.
4. Segregate by gender, at least part time. We do not necessarily advocate entirely separate education for the sexes. We believe that a realistic understanding and rapport between boys and girls is essential for the kinds of teamwork and partnership that will be required in the future. But there are very real benefits to be gained by both girls and boys through some periods of the day spent solely and consciously with members of their own sex.
5. Rebalance the teaching force. Fewer than two out of ten elementary school teachers are men. Even in high school, only four of ten are male. Ironically, this actually represents a loss of several percentage points over recent decades. And yet some evidence suggests that boys may tend to perform better in classrooms with male teachers at the younger ages. We must explore ways to attract more good men to teaching at all levels, especially elementary school, including improved mentoring for new teachers as well as more vigorous recruiting and more creative retention practices.
7. Re-imagine the sports culture to emphasize the positive values of competition and teamwork in light of a larger societal drive to win at any cost. The sports culture has sanctioned heartbreaking levels of hazing and violence among our young people. The old values of sportsmanship, character, and school spirit still have a vital place on our playing fields, and we must encourage our coaches to see themselves as the mentors and purveyors of positive values that they are.
The contributions of feminist awareness have been enormous in bringing about a historically unprecedented degree of respect and equality between the sexes in the western democracies. Feminism is absolutely not to blame for the struggles boys and men are now experiencing, but the gender revolution begun by feminists forty years ago will not be complete until men and women mutually acknowledge our complementary differences as well as our fundamental equality and work together to redefine what it means to be full partners in the century that now faces us. Casting solutions to our education woes in the context of feminism—redefining masculinity, gender roles and identity, and teaching boys how to become good men—is both a rational and radical way to better schooling for all.
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None of this is difficult. I often wondered WHY both genders could not be served. It seems a lot of black and white thinking goes on. This is not rocket science…lets get rid of labels and focus on molding the minds of exceptional future “good citizens”…let’s set the bar by demonstrating we understand the concept of true equality…
Excellent, excellent article. And many thanks for writing it. As a parenting coach working with parents of boys and father of two sons, I find myself reading many books, articles, posts, etc. on a wide range of topics that affect boys and men. It is evident boys are failing to thrive. It’s unfortunate, however, to see political agendas—personal and institutional ones—not only overlooking what is evidently a real crisis but intentionally derailing the efforts of others. I have not taken the time to read all the comments to the article. However, there seem to be some valuable ideas and additional… Read more »
Something that would make a world of difference all across the board is to reduce class size. Are we seriously talking about making more individualized instruction AND continuing to increase the size of classes? Lots of luck making individualized customized instruction when teachers have to teach more and more students AND have more and more bureaucratic nonsense to fill their time. You can’t decrease attention per student and increase attention per student at the same time.
That’s why the MOOCs they’re talking up (mainly because of Microsoft money) won’t work. Even college classes benefit from reduced class size. These cookie cutter solutions are bound to fail. Women do better than men in school and also as adults in bureaucracies (now) because they will put up with BS to a much greater extent than men will.
Reducing class size would be optimal, but not really feasible given the current budgets of most public schools. Differentiating the genders would not change the number of teachers, but change utilization of teachers. Schools would still have the same number of students, teachers, and classrooms. Hypothetically, instead of having two co-ed classrooms, it could shift to one male and one female classroom with an eye for gender-based learning and preferences. Currently, co-education is the gold standard in public education but research is quickly proving that co-education is the cookie cutter one-size-fits-all education. Also, early childhood developmental years are when we… Read more »
Bring back recess.
This would be a big help, seriously. Provided that it allowed for large muscle activity. I can’t sit still for more than 2 hours without a stretch and some activity, and I have had practice sitting and concentrating for what, 30, 40 years now? You want that from a boy aged 8?
I am bouncing my leg right now, I am very rarely still unless extremely tired. I use to fidget constantly at school, soo much energy unburned.
Well, another leg bouncer, it drives my family crazy.
I really appreciate you bringing up these issues for discussion. It is badly needed. I have some comments, and a few observations. I also have a lot of questions. I appreciate that you cannot possibly take the time to respond to much of this, but perhaps someone else can chip in too. My overarching question for you is this. Given that human beings are enormously malleable, do you believe that performance deteriorates if the forced changes make suboptimal use of their brain functioning? Secondly, do you believe that many male brains differ from many female brains on dimensions such as… Read more »
Thanks again, rezam, for your long response, and thanks for giving me permission to sidestep at least some of the thorns with which you have adorned the path. It is clear that you know and have thought a great deal about this topic. Let me begin by being clear about what I know and don’t know. My field is human development, particularly adult development. And since I was strongly influenced by the men’s movement in the 70’s and 80’s, I have a particular commitment to men’s development. Given that interest, I have some familiarity with brain physiology, but no training… Read more »
Larry, well said. I know this response is for rezam, but second the recommendation that he write about these subjects. As far as advancing the concept of the new gender gap and acceptance of male-female differences, I suspect social change will not take an entire generation for three reasons. 1.) Global reach and speed of technology. We can disseminate information rapidly, but we are still at a relatively modest velocity of information exchange. 2.) The personal desire/need to sort out some gender issues. There is a groundswell of people across this globe asking these same gender questions and arriving at… Read more »
Thanks for the response Larry. The thorns were not particularly for you guys – they are just a bunch of thorns that I have been struggling to resolve in my own head. As for knowledge on brain physiology, my own is limited, I read the pharmacy, neurology, biochemistry and related studies, but trying to weave them into a coherent picture is very challenging. Sometimes I work backwards from clinician’s reports and studies, or educator’s reports, and try to map it to what I do know about the various brain functions, the neurotransmitters and their pathways, their metabolisms and their known… Read more »
This is what we are doing now and it’s not working! We are forcing boys to “relate” and “communicate just like girls.” Yes. This is not working and just shows teachers don`t understand boys anymore. I`d go to countries outside the western world and see what they do when boys get into conflict. “…emphasize the positive values of competition and teamwork in light of a larger societal drive to win at any cost.” This is what we do now to boys and it’s not working! We are teaching boys how to compete like girls and girls how to compete like… Read more »
“But Boy Scouts played that role at one time. It’s a shame that the Scouts have gone the way they have now.”
Which way is that? I know almost nothing about the scouts.
I’m referring to their quasi-military orientation and more recent resistance to recognizing the legitimacy, rights, and humanity of gay people.
I am grateful that anyone has read our piece, let alone this many, and honored by your taking the time to comment. Our purpose was to provoke some ideas and conversation, which it has clearly done here. I would say that Larry and I are probably 98% in agreement with all said here. I am noticing that the restraints of concision (we self imposed) left out some nuance illuminated here- for that I am also grateful and am learning a lot. I think that outside some of the wordsmithing goofs we might have made that have been well addressed here,… Read more »
One thing to note is the concept of Male Gender Gap as stated in the title. The common definition of gender gap is closing that gap by raising women to men’s heights. However this article is has a progressive definition of Gender Gap and is probably more accurate for 2013. The areas where many women have closed that gap and have equal or greater influence than men are in the family, schools, and workplace: the primary circles of influence. (not all women, but enough) Some psychologists discuss these areas like concentric circles and family, schools, and workplace are core areas… Read more »
Thanks, Joan, again, for your thoughtful way of moving the conversation ahead. I am discovering that things out here in the wilds of cyberspace can be surprisingly harsh and sometimes coarse. It is refreshing to engage in some grown-up conversation. I have a long history of supporting feminist positions. Though I have never identified myself as a feminist, I taught at the strongly feminist Lesley University and I am married to a former Harvard professor. Scott and I have consciously framed the issue as an incomplete transformation rather than a truncated one because we support the [feminist] goal of true… Read more »
Hmmmm. I am working on parsing your comment, and am stumbling over the usage of “true equality”. It would be helpful perhaps to outline how you assess true equality. I can think of a few approaches, for instance … Equality in opportunity Equality under the law ( as written in statutory language) Equality under the law (as applied, in regulation, case precedents, enforcement, quasi-judicial bodies) Equality of Outcome ( as a statistical measure – 50%, or adjusted for demographics %) Equality of outcome (differentially situated application) Equality in freedom from constraint Equality as in human dignity (absence of pervasive prejudice,… Read more »
Nicely parsed, Rezam. I’d say pretty much “all of the above” with the possible exception of the last. The “equality of outcome” pieces, as you are aware, are a measure of a potential result rather than a pre-condition or input. But you would not have asked the question if you didn’t know how complex it is. And although the modern gender equality movement (aka feminism) took its cue from the civil rights movement, it is not the same–most notably in that differences between the sexes really are more than simply skin-deep even as we strive to ensure equal treatment for… Read more »
Thanks, Larry. I’ll be honest, I have problems with ALL of the definitions, except the last one !! I see some merit in each of the approaches. At the end of the day, the question is so complex, that I am not sure it is resolvable. Which is why I tend to lean on the last. Not intellectually satisfying to anyone, but …. To me there is a difference between what is codified into law, and what is used by society at large. Since it is so complex, I would prefer it be codified as everything BUT the outcome one.… Read more »
Great to see people addressing this issue. I remember growing up 20 years ago the mantra was starting to be “girls are smarter than boys” and that affected quite a few boys, I think they gave up to some degree in academics and felt more inferior compared to the girls.
There’s good evidence to support this, Archy. It’s one reason we need to find ways of bringing good male teachers back into elementary schools. And it’s why we need to create spaces where boys are together just with other boys. Traditional cultures have always known this–though I would not advocate going back to those bad old days. But Boy Scouts played that role at one time. It’s a shame that the Scouts have gone the way they have now. Wouldn’t it be interesting to create a new, updated version of Scouts for the 21st century?
The man shed in Australia, but a version for kids would be a damn awesome start. Problem is with pedophilia hysteria I think a lot of men would be nervous teaching kids. I know a fair bit about photography and COULD teach kids probably but I really don’t want to since an adult male around kids here is seen as suspect. In general I see women far far far more likely to interact with kids, even if it isn’t their job, than I do with men. I don’t see anywhere near the same level of fear of pedophilia against the… Read more »
That’s only 6 steps, straight from 5 to 7 with no #6. Typo or did one go missing?
I challenge #2 “…Boys are generally slower to mature than girls, entering school a year or more behind girls developmentally” This stereotype needs to vanish, please. The current research as of 2009-2012 indicates, males develop and mature differently, not slower. Boys are not slower girls. Repeat, boys are not slower to mature, unless their behavior has been penalized, unrewarded, or modified to act like girls. ___ “This means emphasizing not just the first two Rs but also social/emotional learning, a language-rich environment in which boys can learn to name their complex feelings more fully, and opportunities to practice the kinds… Read more »
This stereotype needs to vanish, please. The current research as of 2009-2012 indicates, males develop and mature differently, not slower. Boys are not slower girls. Repeat, boys are not slower to mature, unless their behavior has been penalized, unrewarded, or modified to act like girls.
If not vanish then needs to be applied properly. We are supposed to believe that one one hand boys mature slower than girls but when it comes to statutory rape girls are manipulated and boys actually choose to pursue sex. I guess the maturity is only acknowledged when it makes girls look good and/or innocent.
Danny–I hear ya. The double and triple standards are frustrating as hell. You guys are awesome. I’m trying to finish an article on aggression to dispel some of these stererotypes. Hopefully to be applied for the greater good.
Boys need an environment where the male-energy (the good side of aggression) is rewarded, experienced, and shaped positively. That’s when we start bringing out the best in boys and the best in girls too. I suspect many of these double standards can be minimized.
Thanks, Joan, for your more nuanced take on the “maturity” issue. I agree that it is more useful to think in terms of differing forms of maturation for the two sexes. That also allows us, as you note, to work more differentially with girls and boys. My data comes from summaries of research in books like Sax’s “Boys Adrift,” Whitmire’s “Why Boys Fail,” and Brizendine’s two books on girl and boy brains. Even Lise Eliot in “Pink Brain, Blue Brain” acknowledges some developmental differences though she emphasizes the socialization aspects more. What’s the data you refer to that seems to… Read more »
These studies combined explain almost all of the grade gap:
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200405/cmselect/cmeduski/121/5020702.htm
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/eliminating-feminist-teacher-bias-erases-boys-falling-grades-study-finds
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2102759/Why-boys-failing-grade-classroom-Lack-male-teachers-reason-according-new-study.html
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2000/05/the-war-against-boys/304659/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-11151143
Thanks, Erik. These are useful references. One thing that’s clear is that although there is little disagreement on the disparity, there is a wide range of explanations for why. Sommers, for instance, has just resurfaced with a rerun of her critique of feminism, toned down a bit from her book, but still with the same basic argument that it’s feminists’ fault. I don’t think that helps. That’s why we have taken the position that the feminist revolution is not over yet–that if they are serious about gender equality as they say they are, then they should be concerned about the… Read more »
Larry – part of restoring honor to the profession, is restoring honor to men and recognizing the differences and value that men bring to wives, girls, and boys. Large part of the attitude starts at home. The question is how to get into homes. ____ The maturity measures are often based on socialization skills. In early childhood development, boys tend to play independently with destructive or mechanical toys, and around age 6 they start banding with larger groups. Girls, however in early years, play with small groups of friends and dollies and try to relate to them…building relationship skills naturally.… Read more »
“Girls are told they can “be anything” over and over, but guys aren’t. ” Well that is 100% the fault of feminism. I would add that boys are also consistently shamed in classrooms and this is also the fault of feminism. I experienced this repeatedly witht eh teacher saying girls where smarter and always pointing out how girls where morally better than boys and men where the cause of all the problems in the world. Dorris Lessing observed precisely this form of shaming when she visited a primary school class. The teacher shamed the boys and elevated the girls and… Read more »
3.1 Stop pretending that boys are girls who misbehave. Understand that boisterous isn’t alway aggression and that aggression isn’t alway assault. There is as much legitimacy to a child’s physical reaction to a problem as there is to verbal solution. Me, I’m a big believer in nature and that boys aren’t androgynous children with a 21st digit. I believe that overworked and beleaguered teachers foster gender patterning wherein girls are rewarded for being ladylike and boys are no longer given the benefit of the doubt.
And another thing: Hazing is a bucket of sand from the beach that is sports.
J.A. — We totally agree with you that boys are not simply a bad version of girls. In fact the idea makes me want to barf, frankly. Sorry we pushed that button for you. I played football and hockey in school and Scott is an extraordinary coach–of wrestling, among other sports. We both know very well the line between force and violence. There are times when force is appropriate, but violence, whether from boys or girls, is not acceptable in a civilized society. In general that’s a harder lesson for boys to learn, thanks both to their own testosterone and… Read more »
But I guess the bullying of nonathletic boys as supposed “inferiors” and “sissies” in mandatory P.E. classes is okay? Oh, well . . . “boys will be boys,” empathy be damned.
(Of course, I agree there are differences between boys and girls. There are also differences among boys, but they’re all expected — nay, demanded — to be the same. Differences are not respected. That’s nonsense.)
@Larry- no we are almost on the same page here, this is a great piece, this is what GMP needs more of. I just had to stress my obsession on the subject. However, I believe that children have to experiment with violence to understand the effects of violence- and I’m not talking about time out. bust someone in the mouth and watch both their lip & your fist bleed and now consider what awful damage a gun might do. @Bill- your world must suck, In my opinion, if bullying is OK there….maybe you can figure a way to make children… Read more »
Thanks, Joan, for your more nuanced take on the “maturity” issue. I agree that it is more useful to think in terms of differing forms of maturation for the two sexes. That also allows us, as you note, to work more differentially with girls and boys. My data comes from summaries of research in books like Sax’s “Boys Adrift,” Whitmire’s “Why Boys Fail,” and Brizendine’s two books on girl and boy brains. Even Lise Eliot in “Pink Brain, Blue Brain” acknowledges some developmental differences though she emphasizes the socialization aspects more. What’s the data you refer to that seems to… Read more »
Larry, Thank you, I’ll put those on my reading list. Without reading the text you referenced, it looks like the studies are not refuting it, but filling in some missing links to the greater puzzle. If schools are evaluating kids on maturity and verbal skills, girls may excel and boys may appear ‘slow’. However, if they evaluated kids on mechanical abilities and independent activities, I suspect boys would excel and girls would appear ‘slow.’ Simply because a boy plays by himself with a truck in K5, is distracted, or irritated with team activities, doesn’t mean he’s anti-social, slow, or immature…it… Read more »
I’m afraid you’re probably right, J.A.–in principle at least. I’d like to think it was not necessary to do the actual damage to oneself, much less another person though. When I was a kid I used to love playing “guns.” All the neighborhood kids had cap pistols and we would race around our houses shooting each other, falling dead….all that stuff. It was, frankly, thrilling. That’s the kind of stuff that sends young men to war, and always has. But for a number of reasons, I got over all that and am, today, a Quaker committed to non-violence. So is… Read more »
Curious, the short version is- while the SEAsian insanity was ongoing I was expressing an interest in West Point. My mother sent me to a Quaker School… My Army dreams were set aside, I came to know that I’m not brave enough to be a pacifist.
Nice. But don’t put yourself down about “brave” and pacifism. I’m not a fundamentalist pacifist myself. I distinguish (as many Quakers do) between violence and the appropriate use of force. There are times when force is necessary–think what a good police person is called on to do. The only courage you need is the willingness to be compassionate, wise, and discerning.
Yeah let’s not get into theology here…
Gideon Frost & Elijah Hicks not Richard Nixon & the bombing of Cambodia.
Q- “What would you do if the Hun attempted to rape your sister?”
A- “I would attempt to intercede my body”
Japan is one of the least violent countries in the world yet probably has one of the highest levels of people trained in martial arts. I think only Thailand, China and maybe South Korea could compete in terms of how many have martial arts training. I don`t think stopping boys from playing with guns or not knowing how to fight is smart way to reduce violence.
Erik, excellent point. Martial arts are a constructive release for energy and coincides with the concept of re-imagining sports culture. Just a hairbrained idea, consider introducing different fitness events such as martial arts during one quarter, as long as it’s coached and safe for kids. Gym teachers could teach the fundamentals of balance, core-strength, flexibility, basic moves, and discipline. (Ti Chi, Karate, Judo, or other varieties) Then integrate different Asian learning events into the curriculum, such as Asian history, geography, some language, calligraphy, current affairs, science, government, and even connect with a Japanese school as IT pen-pals. Gym class complements… Read more »
If Japan is not violent- & I haven’t looked it up it might also have something to do with – the population is older than Boca Raton – more people are into reading, openly, porn comics on mass transit. – groping young girls on the subway is socially acceptable. – men smoke like chimenies & drink like sots…. I doubt that the number of people studying martial arts in Japan is greater than the proportion in the US… martial arts were for the top 2% not for rice farming peasants… Kind of like jousting was for the knights not the… Read more »
“martial arts were for the top 2% not for rice farming peasants” WERE being the key word. We ar enot in the 1700s anymore. Martial arts training si much, much more prevalent in Japan than in the west. In Thailand the number of people who have trained Muay Thai is enormous. It is the national sports. I have met more thai WOMEN living in western countries that have trained muay thai than I have met western men who have trained martial arts. Groping women on subway reduces violence? I don`t get what you are trying to say with that nor… Read more »
@Erik- I dashed that quickly on the phone. We aren’t in the 18th century anymore, but Japan certainly was 50 yrs ago… In re groping women on subways- I maintain that that is a lot more common in Japan than studying martial arts is… My experience in Japan was that they were the rudest people I have ever dealt with. I’m also riffing on, and this has nothing to do with this article, the charade of chivalry in the antebellum US south and the absurdity of the genteel curtain on Downtown Abbey…. Got into it with a few people on… Read more »