I’ve spent my life studying relationships. I’m sort of an oddball man that always wanted to get married and have a one and only one. It hasn’t worked out that way. That’s okay. I’m still happy. I haven’t given up.
There are many in my place, both ladies and gents. No worries. At least you know you may be single, but you’re not alone. Over the recent years…and I’m talking about not so recent. I’ve come to accept being alone isn’t so bad, so my standards are high. My standards may be high, but that doesn’t mean I want to be alone.
There are countless articles giving endless dating advice. So much of it is written from of a perspective of ‘selling’ rather than giving great advice. Me, I’m a simple guy. I always go to facts and science. Oh yes, and that is out there galore. PUA’s (pick up artists) schilling crap galore.
Though what they say does have a lot of scientific background. They’ve mastered it. They’ve spent their lives perfecting it. That’s not me. I don’t want to devote my life to getting any lady. I want to devote my life to finding the right lady, and then devote my life to her.
It’s so hard. I’ve read books on body language and charisma. It’s brutal. It’s all factual and all does work. The defeating part is our brains can only process so many bits of information at once. As smart as we are, it’s only a few bits of information our conscious brains can process at once.
So, all of that, are their pupils dilating, do they lean in, is their body posture open or closed? It’s all too much to take in and process and not come off as a robot. What do you do? You want to meet somebody. You want to know if they feel the same interest as you.
You can try online dating, but that sucks. Online dating is nothing more than exchanging dating resumes. Where’s the fun in that?
Here’s one tip, and it’s the tip amongst all tips you NEED to know. There have been studies done indicating I’m not just a wild man of Borneo making this up. When a man is interested, his voice will go deeper. When a lady in interested, her voice will go higher. If you’d like to read one of the studies to which I’m referring, here you go: Yes…This has been researched!
It need not be complicated. Dating can be so hard when it’s supposed to be fun! If you’re not having fun, is this whom you should be with?
Try and ignore all those things magazines and dating coaches promote. You can’t process all the data they ask you to and still come across as fluid and natural. Do you want to come across as anything other than fluid and natural?
Give it try. Forget all that nonsense magazines and books and pick-up artists have trained you to focus on.
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
Listen and you’ll get your answer.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Tibor Pápai on Unsplash