I don’t know about you, but I value my time.
I hate having it wasted, especially on undeserving people.
This sentiment is particularly true when it comes to first dates.
While they can be fun and exciting, they also have the possibility to be one of life’s biggest time wasters — more so if you date people you meet online.
According to some studies, around 20% of first dates result in a second date, with a paltry 3% ending in marriages. And these numbers can vary greatly depending on your location, demographics, and preferences.
It’s possible to find yourself going date after date, with few, if any, turning into second dates.
Depending on how often you meet a new potential love interest, that’s a massive time sink of meeting incompatible people you would much rather not deal with in the first place.
What if I told you that bad first dates that go no where can easily be avoided at best and minimized at worst?
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Video calls are the ultimate first-date prescreening
There is no better first-date prescreening method that I have come across that beats having a simple video call. It doesn’t even have to be long…10 to 20 minutes is more than enough to get a feel for your potential date.
I used to be the type of person that would never call someone before a date. My reasoning was face to face interactions were better and that any form of communication before the meeting would muddy the water and lead to me saying or doing something that might stop the date from happening in the first place. My only concern back then was getting a physical date above all else.
Considering about 70% of my dates came from dating apps, a space notorious for having a high strikeout rate, it meant having to meet a lot of people who I didn’t want to see a second time. And I’m sure some of them didn’t want to meet me either, for whatever personal reasons they might have had.
It was after I started implementing short video calls before meetups did the quality of my dates improve. Being catfished seized to be a problem, and so did meeting people with personality quirks I didn’t jive with.
Why video calls are not recommended more often, especially by relationship experts, is beyond me.
Given how interconnected we have all become and the assessability of high-speed internet right at our fingertips, there is no excuse not to spend a few minutes getting to know your date before investing in a meetup.
When you video call, you get to:
- See if the other person is who they say they are.
- Judge compatibility and how well you both vibe together.
- Get to see and hear how they talk and move.
- Build greater rapport more so than by texting or calling alone.
- Remove first date jitters — you will both feel like you already met and know each other.
It’s worth bearing in mind this method will be most effective when dealing with individuals with whom you have had limited interactions.
So let’s say you’re going on a first date with someone you have already had considerable face-to-face contact with prior. A video call, in this case, might not be necessary since you are already familiar.
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Final words
Video calls are not only for long-distance relationships or when you have no choice but to be cooped up indoors because a pandemic is raging outside.
Video calls can be an invaluable arsenal in your dating toolbox that will save you time, energy, and money by allowing you to assess compatibility before meeting in person.
However, video calls are by no means a guarantee your dates are going to hit every time. They just lessen the odds they will turn into duds.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Arun Sharma on Unsplash