Often we forget the power of discussion, whether it’s with another human being or a discussion on paper. When we speak or write we take the cycling confusion from our minds and we put an end to that lack of clarity by setting those concerns or general thoughts out in the tangible world. Some of my best realizations and strongest moments of clarity have come when writing or when speaking with another person about the obstacle(s) I am facing at that moment.
When you are not shedding light on something that is largely unknown, this problem area becomes more and more confusing and difficult to understand the longer it remains in the dark. We’ve had these experiences at work when we practiced the art of problem-solving around an issue or puzzle we weren’t quite able to solve. And then, like magic, the art of conversation allows us to realize the solution. What if this principle worked exactly the same with personal growth?
The mind will always create problems and seek to solve them, it is a natural part of the human condition. As we discuss and break apart our difficulties outside the walls of our own awareness, these problems become more like puzzles that you can dissect and observe, then eventually solve. However, if you never choose to let the sun shine on life’s obstacles they can never exist outside your awareness, and therefore they will never be subject to a new and more effective means of problem-solving.
Let’s take that sensation of frustration and heaviness in the stomach and chest. The furthest you might be able to get, using the internal dialogue to understand why it is there in the first place, and how to release its’ power and intensity. It might be by identifying where it came from, why it is there, and how can I manage it? However, within the confines of your own head, you will not be able to reach that final solution, as human beings are programmed to keep problems running over and over again in our heads.
The sensation of finally having clarity around a solution and what to do about an ebbing problem feels like when you stood on the edge of a cliff and looked out over vast open wilderness. A sense of freedom and unburdened awareness. The easiest way to get to this space of clarity so you can finally transcend that problem and grow into a better version of yourself is to start with either writing for thirty minutes first thing in the morning, or simply having one best friend with whom you can be entirely real with.
Unfortunately, the male community lacks groups of men, with whom you can just get together and process life’s big questions with. If you are lucky enough to attend a group, certainly give it a try, but if not find that close friend or find something to write in every morning. Get that clarity, because without it there’s no growth or transcendence beyond the bigger more internally debilitating problems that life will inevitably throw at us.