—
There’s a whole lot going on in the world right now and unfortunately, there is a ton of unrest in our country specifically. Our President has an approval rating of 35% and there are protests literally every day of the week. Passion is passion and it’s easy to be blinded.
In sports, we can be blinded by the things that bind us. We grow up and fall in love sports by playing in the games, falling in love with the professionals whose athleticism and grace leave us hypnotized. Then, somewhere along the line, our love affair turns into fanaticism. The universal love of sports is replaced with a duality of love and hate. We love our team but hate yours. We love our fans but hate yours. Our passion turns into rage, our rage leaves us blinded and the only thing remaining is negativity.
The same can be said for love. We decide to let down our guard and let another person in our life because we all deep down believe in the word…love. We believe there is someone out there that will make us a better version of ourselves. We all start out in a good place. For some of us, however, the love that first bound us begins to crumble. We start to look for weaknesses in the armor of love and exploit them. We self-sabotage our own relationship because our brain tells us we are suffocating. We start to create conflict. We initiate fights. We transform love into hate and start the process all over again.
This is the same thing going on in this nation. Deep down, we all have an understanding for the country we live in. We rose from nothing and became the greatest power by the will of its people. We understand our country is not perfect and we try to not hide from our past but embrace it and promise to not repeat the missteps which caused pain, hurt and life. But much like love and sport we sometimes tend to lose our way. We begin to find the warts too displeasing with those who don’t share certain viewpoints.
Much like sports, we begin a fanaticism of relying on those who share our viewpoint and vilifying those who oppose. Sooner or later, we’ll have to elect individuals who realize the will of the people is our greatest strength. And that although our founding fathers got a lot of things wrong with the way they lived their lives, they did set the stage for a lot of values that still hold true today. The most important of which is “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
While this was featured in The Declaration of Independence and Thomas Jefferson himself was a walking contradiction, let’s not forget the bare bones of this statement: ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL. White, Black, Brown, Gay, Straight, Christian, Muslim, American, Syrian, Iraqi, we are all created equal under our Creator.
If we start to realize that, maybe we can rediscover the love that once bound us.
◊♦◊
On to this week’s chosen emails…
Obviously, with The Big Game happening this weekend, the majority of emails still involved football. Here’s to hoping fans of lawn bowling, cricket and badminton can voice their respective sports and relationship conflicts.
The Relationship Quarterback is all about equality for all those deep in the struggle.
◊♦◊
Dear The Relationship Quarterback,
I don’t know how else to say it, but I hate football. My wife and I met at a bar cheering on our local NFL team, but after watching League of Denial and the repeated disconnect between facts and lies Roger Goodell and his cronies have been throwing up, I had enough. My wife still loves to watch and isn’t turned off by the hypocrisy. I love her but don’t want to watch the games and she does and I feel like we’re drifting apart.
Sensitive in San Diego
Dear Sensitive,
You are not alone. There are many who feel the same way. In fact, in Houston this week is a group of moms who have lost their sons to Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy or CTE. Google “Save Your Brain Campaign” and it will cause heartbreak to read the stories these families have gone through. [Read more here.]
In your case, I think you have a choice to make, if the conviction of boycotting the NFL is greater than your relationship with your wife, then you have other things you need to think about. If your wife is still the center of your life then you need to take a couple of deep breaths and join her in what is still one of her passions. Watch the game at a friend’s house or a local bar. That way you are not adding to their ratings from your household but are still able to enjoy a day of fun, love, and passion with your wife.
Sincerely,
The Relationship Quarterback
◊♦◊
Dear Relationship Quarterback,
I live in Hawaii. Yeah, I’m so lucky, it’s amazing, yada, yada, yada. I have a real problem, though. The game out here starts around 1:30. My 2-year old son naps from 1-4, basically the whole darn game! I’ve told my wife, “let’s just keep him up,” but she won’t budge. I don’t understand, it’s one day! We’ll make it up the next day. How do I change her mind to see things my way and watch the game all three of us.
Hopeful in Honolulu
First off, Hopeful, Mazel Tov.
That first year is a doozy. Before we get into your “problem” let’s just discuss this first year. That first year is a trap, don’t you forget it. We are lucky to get a couple of hours of sleep at night and the during the day we’re going to work or staying home with the kid and there’s no time to ever catch up on the hours you lost the night before. So what happens? Your mind tricks you to believing everything is beautiful you forget the sleepless nights, the pee flying everywhere, your wife breastfeeding then pumping and crying if you spill an ounce of “liquid gold.” Never, ever forget.
That being said. What’s more important a good night’s rest or the game. Because I can tell you this, if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years…never, ever, ever, ever, ever mess with a kid’s sleep schedule. What happens if you change it up this once and things are never normal again? Are you gonna be the one to put it all back together again? What happens if you do away with a nap this one time and you little one decides that they never want to take a nap again? It can happen.
My suggestion…The Big Game is a 5-hour bonanza. If you can still go 5+ hours consistently without yawning or wanting to rest your eyelids then congrats because you have more stamina than Floyd Mayweather. Find a party close to you and wait until after the nap to attend. Beauty of television and the global market we live in, you can watch the game from anywhere on any device.…and pray to the gods that it’s very short nap. If it just so happens, your phone starts to instantaneously combust right around kickoff, or you happen to drop a bag of marbles right outside your baby’s door, those are accidents you have no control over…just saying.
Witty and informative!
Thanks Emily! I experience sports, love and pain so others only feel the first two…unless their pain is associated with a loss in sports, then you’re on your own.