This is a peek at the basics of the relationship in a perspective that may have alluded you. There will not be any shoulds or should-nots. This should, at least, guide you to whatever path you choose in your journey with one another, and to maybe give you a wake-up call if you haven’t yet thought of it.
Dating and getting to know each other is the first move of new lovers and just like a good movie with a twist that could turn your head 360 degrees you just don’t go telling your secrets or past endeavors to the first person you meet no matter how much you think you love them.
First impressions do last but it’s not the standard of a relationship, It’s just the thing that lingers around our unconscious that makes us interested, or uninterested, in that person. Do you know the reason why a first impression matters? It simply helps filter the circumstance we are in whether it be good, bad or worse (it being a thing, situation or a person.)
Ask anyone and they would tell you the same thing, not to “tell all” on the first date. We don’t condone flat out lying but not to share intimate details, no matter how flattering, humiliating or downright nasty it is because in the end Intimacy takes time and effort. Rejection can be tough what more if it’s because of something you did in the past that they might not fully comprehend; think and feel before opening both your heart and mind.
Looking down the winding road and seeing a future together, well that’s a different story. Decide whether full disclosure is truly necessary, there are some secrets that we buried in the past that have no relevance in your present life but that doesn’t mean that you ever get to the point in your relationship where you disclose without discretion. The truth always has to be calculated precisely by intimacy and love and as the relationship grows and the commitment plunges deeper so should the details of your life.
We’re now looking at a long-lasting relationship that’s needs trust. While trust needs to be earned it also has to be nurtured and be given. You can’t expect your significant other to lay their cards on the table and respond, “Alright. Here’s my two cents worth” like it’s no big deal. Sharing the past is an exhausting deed, you get to remember that moment in your head and for some time it gets played like a broken record.
Intimacy and understanding are not the same, for a successful long-term relationship to work, you have to be sensitive to the consequences and be prepared for the repercussions of your actions, especially when those shared are some unpleasantries; you are not the only one who has secrets. The willingness to show vulnerability and courage may sound absurd but it can be done together.
“There are gray areas in a relationship, whether we like it or not. That small corner to the side you keep from anyone else; friends, parent’s even lovers. These are the ones just for yourself, that harmless small mystery you calmly set aside. There will be no examples given seeing I have no idea what goes on in your personal life, don’t grin you weirdo, but I do emphasize on the word harmless.”
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