You have been together for 3 years and you’re waiting for a ring. How do you “push” him to take things to the next level? What is stopping him from committing and what can do you about it?
Why he won’t commit?
He thinks that you will change him
Put his worries to rest by letting him do what he wants to do with his time. You trust him, right? Let him do things with his friends. Just make sure that you do the same. Guys will test their freedom to a point – the point at which you reciprocate!
If you let him do things with his buds and you stay at home waiting for him to call, guess what? He won’t ever commit. But, if you have your own social network and you do things with your friends, he will get worried and he will want to be with you more.
You’re not letting him pursue
Guys need to pursue. We enjoy the chase. Our motto is, “nothing worth having comes without a fight.” Women inadvertently show too much interest in a man they like. This kills the challenge.
Instead, back off and lead a trail of breadcrumbs (or apples) so the horse will return to the barn. Put him on a “you don’t need to know” diet once in a while. Staying aloof is a wonderful tool and should be exercised when needed.
He has fallen into a pattern
If you are living together and he is getting sex, his laundry done and meals cooked, guess what? He is all set so why screw with what’s working? Don’t ever fall into this pattern. If you have, slowly extricate some of these things from his life.
I understand living together to find out if you two are compatible long-term, but this is a slippery slope for couples. Instead, set expectations for a a 3-6 month period before you move in permanently. Then, if he balks, start the process to MOVE OUT!
Watch out for the three things above. In addition, do the things below so you stay awesome.
Pursue your hobbies like a honey badger
Not only does this keep you happy but it keeps him convinced that you are not solely dependent on him.
Keep things crazy under the sheets
Do this and he will feel the need to commit. Feed him tons of sex one day and then take it away for a few. Explore both of your fantasies. Make him awesome in the bedroom even if he sucks (through careful instructions.) Controlling and experimenting with sex drives a man nuts – in a good way!
Finally, keep him guessing
Mystery is a wonderful thing and it makes men commit fast. Get out of that routine and mix things up! Show him all sides of your personality – you know, the way you are with your most crazy best friend? If he sees this, he will never get bored and his commitment phobia will quickly go bye bye!
Now, what type of diamond cut and setting do you like?