In this series, I’d like to present principles and concepts from Zen Buddhism and invite you, through journal prompts, to consider how making use of these principles might improve your intimate relationships. In each post, I’ll present five principles and two journal prompts per principle. Please enjoy!
Here are the next five principles we’ll consider.
Wisdom Gained Through Teachings (Suta-maya-paññā)
Suta-maya-paññā specifically refers to the understanding that arises from studying and listening to the teachings of the Buddha and other knowledgeable teachers. This type of wisdom is foundational and involves acquiring knowledge through various means such as listening to sermons or Dhamma (dharma) talks, reading scriptures and texts, and engaging in discussions with knowledgeable practitioners and teachers. Suta-maya-paññā is the wisdom that arises from learning and studying the Buddhist teachings and forms the necessary foundation upon which deeper understanding and direct experiential insight can be built, guiding practitioners on their path to spiritual liberation.
+ Might you and your loved one benefit from books, videos, podcasts, or other materials that shed light on the issues that the two of you may be encountering?
+ Has the ideas of an author or teacher spoken to you in the past? Might those teachings be worth revisiting?
Wisdom Gained Through Reflection (Cinta-maya-paññā)
Cinta-maya-paññā is a term in Buddhism that translates to “wisdom gained through reflection” or “wisdom acquired from thinking.” It is one of the three types of wisdom or understanding (paññā), along with the wisdom gained through teachings and the wisdom gained through direct experience. This type of wisdom involves using reasoning and critical thinking to deepen one’s understanding of the Buddha’s teachings. It involves thinking critically about the teachings, examining their implications, and understanding their relevance to one’s life and practice. By contemplating how the teachings apply to their experiences, practitioners can develop a more practical and personal understanding of Buddhist principles.
+ Picture setting aside regular time to reflect on your relationship. Might that prove valuable?
+ You’ve learned a lot from life. How might you apply what you’ve learned to your intimate relationship?
Wisdom Gained Through Direct Experience (Bhavana-maya-paññā)
Bhāvanā-maya-paññā specifically refers to the deep and transformative understanding that arises from direct meditative experience. This type of wisdom is considered the most profound because it involves realizing the truths of the Buddha’s teachings firsthand, beyond intellectual understanding. This type of wisdom builds on the foundational knowledge gained through learning and reflection, culminating in insights (often referred to as vipassanā) and the direct realization of the truths of the teachings.
+ Picture yourself gaining some important insight into the nature and trajectory of your intimate relationship. What do you see?
+ How do you translate insight into action? What are your thoughts?
Presence of Mind (Ichi-go ichi-e)
Ichi-go ichi-e refers to the idea of fully engaging with each moment as a unique and precious experience, one never to be repeated. A Japanese idiom, it translates to “one time, one meeting” or “one encounter, one opportunity” and conveys the idea that each moment is unique, thus emphasizing the importance of treasuring each moment and treating every encounter with the utmost respect and significance. Ichi-go ichi-e encourages people to live fully in the present and value each experience and interaction as a once-in-a-lifetime event.
+ Do you treat every encounter with your loved one with the utmost respect and significance? What would it look like to do that?
+ Do you experience each encounter with your loved one as a once-in-a-lifetime event?
Resilience (Fudoshin)
Fudoshin, which translates as “immovable mind” or “unshakable mind,” refers to cultivating an unshakable spirit that remains steady and calm amidst life’s adversities. In Buddhism, especially within the Zen tradition and the martial arts influenced by Zen philosophy, it refers to a state of mental stability, composure, and inner strength that remains unwavering in the face of adversity, fear, or distraction. Achieving fudoshin involves deep meditation practice, mindfulness, and the cultivation of an understanding of the impermanent and interdependent nature of reality. It reflects a mature stage of spiritual development where one’s mind is not easily perturbed by the ups and downs of life, allowing for clear and compassionate action.
+ Are you easily perturbed by things that go wrong or that do not go your way in your intimate relationship? What practice might you engage in to become less perturbed at those times?
+ What might you try so as to make your mind unshakable?
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READ PART ONE HERE
More to come!
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In the midst of life’s ongoing pressures, a powerful, ten-second technique can change fear or worry into calm, strength, and centeredness. The basis of Ten Zen Seconds lies in using a single deep breath as a container for a specific thought. Blending Eastern principles of breath awareness and mindfulness with Western principles of positive psychology, this guide presents meditative incantations that offer powerful antidotes to stress, procrastination, and anxiety.
The technique is simple to grasp, simple to use, simple to practice, and simple to master. It can be used anywhere, anytime, by anyone, and it provides profound benefits. You’ll find yourself able to do things that previously felt too painful or too difficult to attempt and discover how to quiet and center yourself before an important meeting or conversation. Ultimately, you’ll change your basic attitudes about life, becoming peaceful and upbeat instead of anxious or pessimistic.
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