Words are powerful.
Words can either make or mar your relationship. While the right one will increase the commitment, and create strong bonds between you and your partner, the wrong words can poison your relationship life, stir discord, ruin communication, and create distance between you and your partner.
It happened to me.
We were cool.
We had great times in the relationship.
One day, she needed some money to close a deal, she asked me and I truly had no money.
“ … Chris ( her ex ) would have at least come up with a better suggestion.”
Quietly, I knew I couldn’t continue with the relationship. She needed a replacement for her ex and I can’t be his replacement. I lost confidence in the relationship.
That was the beginning of the end of that relationship.
That brings us to the first point:
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1. “ Chris / Cynthia( an ex ) does it better”
Comparing your partner to your ex who is better than him damages his emotions, it tells him that he is not enough for you, that you would have loved him more if he had done a certain thing like your ex would.
The result is that he will feel less of himself, less valued in the relationship, and will seek the easiest exit out of that toxic relationship.
No two persons are the same. And so nobody can be a replacement for the other.
Even if you had better sex with your ex than your present partner, keep it to yourself. That is not something no man would love to hear. It damages their emotions and self-confidence. Before you know it, they start drifting and so shall they leave one day without saying goodbye.
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2. “I made you”
Making someone regret your helping them is one of the most painful experiences in life. They will regret the day you came into their lives. And do everything to end that relationship.
Never make your partner regret ever allowing you to help them. It is one thing that they will never forgive you if you do.
Yes, it is possible you paid his tuition fees, helped him get the job she’s currently in right now, and supporting with the house rent.
But on no condition should you mock them with it. Ever. You can have arguments, and raise voices at each other but never mock them with the help you rendered them.
It breaks even the best relationships.
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3. “You should be happy I’m dating you”
Something happens when your partner vows to prove you wrong in a relationship. It starts with being unemotional, less sensitive to your needs, and making no effort to make the relationship better.
Their only aim is to prove you wrong that they can survive without you and afterward leave the relationship for someone who really values them for who they are.
That’s what happens when you make your partner feel that you did them a favor to have dated them.
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Love is beautiful.
But it is not immortal.
As weightless as words are, the wrong ones can break even the strongest of relationships.
So be careful of the words you say to your partner especially when you’re having an argument or when under a stressful situation. The situation will pass but those words will live forever in their hearts.
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Thanks for your time.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash
