This Is Why a Perfect Person Like You Still Can’t Get a Date

Itwas actually distressing to me to see my amazingly perfect friends’ every attempt at landing a simple date ending up in a disaster.

One fine evening when I was thinking about them I realized they all have some features that make others just overlook them.

You could be a wonderful human being but if you also have these features, chances are you too are not going to get a good date.

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You are giving too much

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Healthy relationships are based mostly on a balance of power. If you stand there showing someone else that you are always going to do your part as well as their part, they would start to lose interest in you. You should give your best, but it shouldn’t come off as doing too much to please the other.

Always keep yourself in check so that the other person has to actively make an effort to be with you. Too much effort to please someone else is not going to serve you well.

You are not being mysterious enough

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Don’t shoot all your arrows at once when you see someone you like. Play around, stay around, and withdraw yourself at certain points in time to see if they actually like you.

If you are going to be a completely open book, you won’t be interesting anymore. Everybody likes some surprises. So make sure you always have a pleasant plot twist up your sleeves, so you can make them go like “You never cease to amaze me!”

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You don’t know your strengths

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You should focus more on finding your strengths. If you don’t know who you are and what your personal strengths are, chances are others likely will not find them either.

Bring your talents and passions out. Are you good at singing, dancing, or painting? Are you a good public speaker or have an interesting profession? Are you a book worm, or an enthusiastic gamer? Understand your strengths and market them in the dating pool.

If you do this, not only you will attract a good partner, but you will also find a supporter in your life who will help you every step of the way.

You don’t love yourself

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Just as much as you know your strength you need to find out how valuable you are, and how important you are.

Guess who would love you, if you don’t love yourself? None! Just today I told one of my friends not to post “Nobody likes Me” memes on his IG stories. When you exuberate this negative persona of yourself that nobody likes you, people will think there must be a reason why people aren’t dating you. They might subconsciously exaggerate your simple status or a meme and not be attracted to you. Everyone likes to have some competition and win.

Always radiate confidence and practice self-love, but on the other hand don’t be a jerk, which brings us to our last point.

You are too independent and isolated

Photo by Ihor Malytskyi on Unsplash

Loving yourself is of course very much the need of the hour, but if you portray yourself to be too independent and not giving a damn about anyone or anything, your personality may come across as that of a jerk rather than of a confident person.

People love to go into other people’s lives and detangle them. So show them that there’s something in your life that needs a bit of fixing. It could be something as simple as you not drying your hair well, so the other feels the urge to wipe your hair or ask to do it yourself.

Use your words properly, be courteous and let others know that they have some space in your life, so the matching cat will come and sit in the box.

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Finding a good date that would progress to a healthy relationship is often a matter of luck in this era of dating apps and quickies. But if you come to the dating pool as a pessimist who shit talks yourself, who doesn’t know your worth, and is unnecessarily ready to give your all, you are going to drown in the pool even before you start swimming. Your potential dates may run away from your negative vibes.

On the other hand, if you come across as a self-absorbed narcissist who is too confident about yourself, though you might land one or two hookups, chances would be slim that they develop into full-blown relationships.

So the bottom line is, always watch your step, when you are trying to make someone fall for you. Balance is the key to a good date and a successful relationship.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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