This Question Reveals if You’re in the Right Relationship

It might take weeks, months, or even years, but at some point, many of us will ask ourselves, “Am I in the right relationship?”

There are so many ways we can try to determine if we’re meant to be. We might make pros and cons lists or try to determine if we’re happy at least 80% of the time. Some of us might even go as far as to analyze our zodiac compatibility or love languages. But asking yourself one simple question can help you determine if you’re in the right relationship.

The Question That Reveals If You’re Happy In Your Relationship

There are many ways to determine if you’re in the right relationship, but this one question can help you figure it out. Consider asking yourself this to determine if you’re in the right relationship:

“Would I be proud to tell my younger self I chose this person?”

How This Question Tells You If You’re in the Right Relationship

Your younger self had high hopes for you. They wanted you to settle down with someone honest and kind. There might have been non-negotiables or dealbreakers your younger self didn’t want to put up with.

There may have been a whole list of hopes and dream qualities your younger self hoped that your future significant other would possess — some unrealistic, but others completely reasonable. Your younger self wanted you to find someone who offered more than just the bare minimum.

So, when you ask yourself if you’d be proud of the person you chose, you’re actually asking:

Does this person treat me well?
Have I chosen someone who aligns with my values, goals, and vision for my life?
Have I stayed true to the kind of person I promised myself I’d end up with?
Am I being treated the way I deserve to be treated?
Am I settling for less than I deserve?
Am I genuinely happy in this relationship?

If you’ve answered “no” to one or more of these questions, then the answer is simple. This is not the person you should settle down with.

What It Means to Be Proud of Your Relationship

Being proud of the person you’ve chosen to be with and your relationship as a whole means knowing it brings out the best of you. You might feel proud of your relationship when you can talk about it with warmth, rather than trying to justify the other person’s behavior.

Some things that might make you feel proud in your relationship include:

Admiring your partner’s accomplishments, personality, dreams, and goals.
Liking who you are when you’re with them.
Knowing that your relationship aligns with your own values.
Feeling respected.
Knowing that your relationship makes you a better person.

The Bottom Line

If you hesitate before responding to this question, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship. We should all be with someone who not only makes us proud, but who our younger selves would be proud of us for choosing. We should all be with someone we genuinely want to be with, not someone who makes us feel like we are settling.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.