To Be Loved, Not Confused

I’ve always wondered why love sometimes feels like an unsolvable puzzle. One minute it’s warm and inviting, and the next, it’s like a maze of misunderstandings. I never wanted love to be complicated. I never wanted it to be filled with moments where I second-guess my own heart or question of I’m enough.

I want to be loved, not confused.

Love should feel like home. A place where I don’t have to wear armor or pretend I’m someone I’m not. But there were moments in my life when love felt more like a battlefield. Every word was dissected, every silence was filled with question. And I found myself lost, not knowing what love was supposed to feel like anymore. Is it supposed to be this hard? Is it supposed to leave me wondering if I’m too much or not enough?

No, shouldn’t make me feel that way. Love, real love, should calm the storm inside me, not stir it up. It should feel like the gentle embrace of someone who sees every part of you — the good, the bad, the messy — and chooses to stay, not because they have to, but because they want to.

But confusion creeps in when expectations are left unspoken, when affection is given in riddles instead of clarity. And maybe that’s what’s hardest about it. I’ve learned that love and confusion can’t coexist. If I’m confused, I’m not really being loved the way I need to be. And maybe that’s the bitter truth I needed to face. To realize that love, the love I deserve, doesn’t make me question my worth. It doesn’t leave me hanging wondering if I’m loved enough.

To be loved, not confused, is to be seen for who I am, and accepted, not fixed. It’s having someone look at you and say, “I choose you, all of you,” without hesitation or conditions. And that’s what I long for — simple, honest love. Not something dressed in fancy words or gestures that mean nothing when the tough times come. But the kind of love that stands by you, with you, even when life is messy and imperfect.

I’m tired of trying to solve the puzzle. I’m tired of wondering if I’m missing a piece.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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