To Have a Village, You Need to Be a Villager

Humans aren’t meant to be alone — and I don’t just mean romantic partners. We need family, friends, coworkers, a community. A circle of people who add meaning to our lives, each in their own way.

We’re lucky if we manage to build that kind of community — a loyal friend group, loving family bonds, maybe even a good partner. It’s rare to have all three, but even a small, caring circle is enough if it’s grounded in love and loyalty.

Still, somewhere along the way, we’ve started forgetting what it means to truly show up for others.

Selfishness has become trendy, and we’ve disguised neglect as “self-love.” But the truth is, relationships don’t thrive on independence alone, they grow through connection, effort, and reciprocity.

Think about that friend who never misses your birthday. They show up year after year, make time, make you feel seen. And then when it’s their turn, life gets in your way — work, errands, exhaustion. You fully intend to make it up, but somehow, it slips through the cracks. Maybe you don’t even realize what that absence meant to them.

We’ve normalized being too busy for the people who matter most. Too busy to call our parents. Too tired to check in unless there’s a reason. Yet somehow, there’s always time for work emails, scrolling, or errands.

We say we don’t owe anyone anything — but maybe that’s not the point. It’s not about owing; it’s about honoring the relationships that sustain us. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to be there for your people, just as they do for you. Meet them halfway. Remember they have their own struggles, too. Sometimes a simple “Hey, thinking about you, how you doing?” can mean the world.

Real connection isn’t always peaceful. You’ll argue, misunderstand each other, have moments where things feel off, but they’re still your people. We need to start learning to forgive, to stay, and not walk away at the first sign of conflict.

Of course, effort should flow both ways. Part of caring is knowing when to step back and trust others to do their part. Not everyone shows love the same way — some people call instead of meeting up, some say yes to breakfast instead of texting back, and some just need quiet time to restore themselves.

It truly takes a village — but to have one, you have to be a villager. Don’t take your people for granted. We’re losing connections in the name of being “too busy” or “too drained,” not realizing that our village is often the very thing that could lift us back up.

If there’s someone you love but haven’t heard from in a while, reach out. Call them, send that text, make plans. Remind them they still have you in their corner.

At the end of the day, we’re all just figuring it out

With Love, Laura 💌

If you like these kinds of real, bite-sized reflections, Mind Snacks is where I share one every week. Feel free to drop your own thoughts or situations there too — I’ll give you my honest take or advice when it fits

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