Top Eight Things for Rednecks to Do in Florida?

I don’t mean to suggest that Florida has a limited number of things for rednecks to do. Despite whatever claims Alabama and Mississippi think they have, Florida is the redneck capital of the world. You don’t have to worry about being shamed for your accent or attire. Come as you are. If you can’t locate your Confederate flag or MAGA hat, in these locations, there will always be a vendor available to sell you one; if you don’t mind, they were made in China. Here are eight places/events not to miss where you can get your redneck on, and nobody will care.

THE REDNECK RIVIERA

The Emerald Coast, better known as the Redneck Riviera, is a 100-mile stretch of beach in the Florida Panhandle. It admittedly includes a good bit of Alabama, but everything meaningful happens on the Florida side. I spent a few days at Panama City Beach, and I promise I saw nothing but rednecks. When in Pensacola, you’ll see a lot of Navy men and women from NAS Pensacola. Be sure to thank them for their service and ask for directions to the best local bar. You mostly came to drink anyway.

The beaches are beautiful, with fine white sand you won’t find in other redneck hangouts like Daytona Beach, which I’ll get to later. Stay away from the high-end hotels and gated communities, and you’ll be fine. You might be surprised to find that the LGBTQ community has long considered the Emerald Coast a vacation spot, and they have their own bars and communities.

The Redneck Riviera is an easy drive from several states. A must-see is the Flora-Bama Bar which straddles the Florida/Alabama state line. On the Fourth of July, you can participate in the annual Mullet Toss, throwing dead fish across the state line. How much more redneck can you get?

DAYTONA BEACH BIKE WEEK

Daytona Beach has cleaned up its image over the last twenty years. Mostly gone are the strip clubs and the raunchiest of the bars. Be sure you get your weeks right, or you might find yourself in the middle of Black Bike Week, which probably isn’t the thrill you were looking for. Daytona Beach Bike Week is held every March, with the next event being March 1–10, 2024. That’s actually a week and a half, but ciphering was never a redneck forte. I went all Jethro Bodine with that one for those who got the “ciphering” reference.

“Naught plus naught equals naught!”

Don’t worry if you don’t ride, the streets will be so congested, and the police are everywhere issuing tickets. It’s probably best to find a hotel near A1A or Main Street and walk everywhere, assuming you can still walk. There’s an outdoor stage with live music. Earlier this year, the bands featured were; Jasmine Cain, Hypersona, TribUcon, Fracture, 21 to Burn, and Wicked Serenity. I haven’t heard of any of them, which means rednecks will probably like them just fine.

Daytona Bike Week averages over 100,000 visitors annually, and most of them are rednecks, wannabe rednecks, or posers (let them have their fun). Come to Daytona, enjoy the bikes, and get your drink on. An occasional “Yee-Haw” won’t be out of place. Just remember the po-po are everywhere, so be chill. Again, Confederate flags and MAGA hats are for sale everywhere, so don’t worry if you left yours behind.

FLORIDA-GEORGIA FOOTBALL GAME

The Florida-Georgia game is one of the best college football rivalries in the country. They have played every season since 1926 except for a wartime interruption in 1943. Both teams have won multiple National Championships, Georgia is the reigning NCAA football champion, and Florida wants to snatch that title away. It is usually the last regular season game for both teams, and it isn’t uncommon for the SEC-East title to be on the line. The game is played at a neutral site in Jacksonville, FL though other provisions may need to be made for 2026–2027 when the stadium is due for a major renovation.

The game was formally billed as “The World’s Largest Cocktail Party,” which you rednecks know means a lot of drinking is going on. There’s tailgating all around the stadium, and the nearby downtown bars are full, as is the Jacksonville Landing along the St. John’s River. The name was dropped after 1985 when Georgia fans stormed the field and tore down the goalposts. 6 arrests were made, and the city cracked down on “excessive drinking.” Don’t blame it all on Georgia because Florida fans did the same thing the year before, sans the large number of arrests.

IMPROMPTU NAZI RALLY

Most of the events previously described can admittedly be pretty expensive. Hotel rates alone during Daytona Bike Week can range from $300–600 per night, and the same is true at the other locations. Why not just get a few friends together and gather in a public place waving Nazi or Confederate flags. I don’t mean to imply that all rednecks are Nazis or racists, but you can be found in the same places and espouse similar political views.

Some places these impromptu gatherings have popped up in Florida include DeSantis speaking events, at random highway overpasses, and a Central Florida mall. White supremacists have been seen dining with the ex-President at Mar-a-Lago, so there’s that. The good things are these gatherings involve little expense. If you already have a swastika armband and Nazi flag, you only need to pick a spot.

REDNECK FISHING HOLES

A true redneck wants to get away from tourists sometimes. Nothing like a bit of bass fishing to make you feel at home. Here’s a video featuring ten locations you can go to in Florida where there ain’t no Walmart.

CIVIL WAR REENACTMENT

You probably don’t think of Florida much when thinking of Civil War battles, yet there’s an annual reenactment at Olustee, FL, outside Lake City. Though Florida was the third state to secede from the Union. Its lack of strategic value meant its primary role was supplying beef, fruit, and vegetables, along with troops to both sides (mainly the Confederacy).

Olustee was a deadly though relatively minor battle involving over 10,000 men, and over 2,800 were killed during the six-hour battle. It seems the Confederacy is over-represented in the reenactment. One participant gave a reason:

“All Civil War reenactments attract more Rebel soldiers than Union ones. Everybody wants to be the underdog,”

I can think of other reasons, but who am I to judge? If you’re a redneck and also believe in the lost cause movement, Olustee is where you want to be.

CONFEDERATE MEMORIAL DAY

I don’t mean Memorial Day, where America celebrates all its fallen soldiers. I’m talking about the one Florida officially recognizes just for the Confederate soldiers. The Fourth Monday of April is Confederate Memorial Day in Florida and the perfect time for any redneck to pay their respects. Bills are continually introduced in the Florida Legislature to end Confederate Memorial Day as a state-sanctioned holiday, but it never gets out of committee.

“Since Reconstruction, Confederate symbols have been used by white supremacists as tools of racial terror. The United Daughters of the Confederacy and the Sons of Confederate Veterans erected hundreds of memorials to the Confederacy across the United States as part of an organized propaganda campaign, created to instill fear and ensure the ongoing oppression of formerly enslaved people,” -Lecia Brooks, SPLC

The Florida legislature made it harder to remove Confederate monuments and statues. If you can’t make it to Confederate Memorial Day in Florida, there’s always Robert E. Lee’s Birthday and the birthday of Jefferson Davis, which are also legal holidays in Florida.

REDNECK MUD PARK

The Redneck Mud Park in Punta Gorda, FL, is approaching its 15th Anniversary; who knew? My description wouldn’t do it justice, so I’ll let their website speak for itself. I noted because “you asked for it,” they also have campsites available. The pair of breasts strategically located in their poster is part of their desire to fight breast cancer. That’s their story, and they’re sticking to it.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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Photo credit: iStock.com