The Tragedy of the Triumph!

—
Mired in “man-tears” (you wipe them away quickly, so no one will notice), I paint this canvas revealing truths of those gladiators friends I revere, respect, embrace, and mourn.

I label these friends, “gladiators” because, as athletes, we were expected to adopt this “archaic” analogy and we were to psychologically adapt to the concept of being and or becoming great “warriors.” Many if not most young males were familiar with movies like Ben Hur and others that depicted heroism, bravery, and a “manliness” that epitomized a Roman gladiator.

The untold story of those gladiators that were faced with dehumanization and marginalization by those in power, were often perceived by the power structure to be of limited “usefulness” to their respective thrown. They viewed these gladiators as prized stock that were being tolerated and was only allowed to remain in their provinces as a source of personal entertainment, while “re-assuring” them that they were replaceable commodities. These gladiators were thrust into the fighting pits while receiving very little if any empathy or sympathy from their kings or the peasant spectators, and were only allowed to enjoy some of the spoils of “Victory” if they managed to somehow avoid being beheaded.

The Tragedy of The Triumph is a perfect depiction of an athlete’s fulfillment of their dream of becoming a professional football star only to realize that, they may have unknowingly contributed to their own beheading by subjecting themselves to a violent, unforgiving, traumatic, mind-stealing sport/profession that requires repetitive head banging.

On a field totaling 100 yards, they are supposed to establish a no-man’s land between vertical lines that are separated into intervals of five vertical yards, which are further separated into intervals of 1 yard each. This area is framed by the remaining real-estate known as the sideline, which is fifty yards wide. To possess this area of real-estate, there is little if any regard for casualties of war.

This brings us face-to-face with the question:

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

If I had known the dangers of football would my decision to play have been different?

It has been both a blessing and a curse to have participated at such a high level in such a popular sport as football. Suffice it to say that it is the most popular professional sport in America.

A more piercing thought is this: What Do You Do When The Crowd Stops Cheering, and you realize that your friends have been decapitated while you maintained your head? It is not only devastating and frightening, it takes you to a place of utter fear and uncertainty. Questions like: How much longer will I be able to function normally? Will I have to depend on others to assist me with simple, activities of daily living? How do I fit into society now that I am viewed as damaged goods? Will my spouse abandon me, will my children be embarrassed of me? The list is infinite.

One of my closet friends perished before most of this discussion of CTE became a focal point and came out of the closet. He and I told each other everything, or so I thought. It was only after his passing while engaging in a discussion with his wife that I became aware that he was indeed a casualty of this dreaded brain disease.

Can you imagine being so ashamed of admitting to those closest to you that you are experiencing neurological problems and are afraid to seek help for fear of what others may think of you? My heart bleeds with sadness encapsulated in anger because I was not there for him. However, I continually tell myself, how could I be there If I did not know? My answer to myself is that I should have recognized that something was wrong and addressed it. I attributed the frequency of his short-term memory loss to age, family stressors, and to life in general. Never did I consider brain damage. I’ll never forget his quote when one of the reporters asked him about his most exciting moment during his stellar football career at his College football Hall of Fame induction at the University of Notre Dame. “I just wanted to play football.” Such a simple answer, or, is it, ‘what you don’t know can hurt you’? Who’s responsible for cleaning up the blood after a decapitation?

As if this wasn’t enough to process and come to terms with, three more of my close friends, all of whom starred in the NFL, are experiencing symptoms of CTE. Sadly, they too, reluctantly shared their stories with me and have asked that I not print nor mention their names publicly.

They have shared stories of being harassed and having had attempts to portray them as frauds all to discredit them and to protect the pocketbooks of the owners and their insurance companies.

What a tragedy, can you imagine this life; to live your dream, to be in a position that is envied and coveted by the masses, to earn more money than you have ever seen in one place in your life and it all belongs to YOU, only to be awaken to the nightmare that far outlasts the dream?

The aforementioned question was posed to one of my friends, he shared a personal story with me of always wanting to earn more than his father. He became a star and a much sought-after player, entered the NFL, received many awards and accolades, amassed a stellar playing career, and rode off into the sunset—or so he thought—only to be diagnosed several years later with chronic traumatic encephalopathy. His answer; “with everything that I am going through, I would probably do it again to ensure that my family is provided for.”

I can only say this; he is a dear friend whom I appreciate, admire, and love, however; with the knowledge that I have acquired from personal research and their “testimonies,” I would have to find another avenue to provide for my family.

—

What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.

◊♦◊

Get the best stories from The Good Men Project delivered straight to your inbox, here.

◊♦◊

Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.

♦◊♦

We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.

If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member, today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $50 annual membership gives you an all-access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class, and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group, and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.