How often have you started working towards a goal, got off to a great start and then suddenly something crops up that stops you in your tracks?
Do you find yourself starting something with great enthusiasm and motivation only to wind down and go back to “normal” after a few weeks or months?
Are you working really hard at something but getting nowhere?
If so, what follows these two words could be the reason for your lack of progress or backward momentum.
I AM.
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I am — two of the most important words in self-talk narrative.
Whatever follows “I am” indicates your beliefs about yourself. The following two reasons explain why these words are so powerful and important to our personal growth and happiness.
Identity
Your achievement always rises to the level of your self-identity. Robin Sharma.
Our core identity is held in our gut. However, our true sense of self can often become buried under beliefs we have taken on over the years and repeatedly told ourselves or been told by others.
Our heads repeat narratives that result in our self-identity becoming one that holds us back from going for what we truly want.
Narratives such as;
- I am not good enough.
- I am overweight.
- I am rubbish at speaking up for myself.
- I am too loud/quiet.
- I am damaged goods.
- I am terrible with money.
- I am always broke.
- I am not like them.
- I am not attractive enough.
- I am no good at running a business.
- I am not worthy of love and respect.
- I am stupid.
- I am unhealthy.
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It doesn’t matter how much action you take to become fit and healthy, build a business, learn something new, or meet the love of your life; if you keep repeating the above narratives (or something similar), you will end up sabotaging or stopping your efforts and reverting to the type of person you keep telling yourself you are.
This is because your gut doesn’t only hold your core identity. It’s also the driving force behind your motivated (or unmotivated) action and your self-preservation system.
If you keep telling yourself you are overweight or unhealthy, you will feel driven to take actions that prove this.
If you tell yourself that you are different from the person you need to become to achieve your goal, your self-preservation system will hold you back from meeting this type of person. It is trying to keep you safe from feeling unwelcome and unwanted.
If you keep reminding yourself that you are “damaged goods”, you will find yourself unable to move forward on your healing journey.
The words “I am” and those that follow are important because they dictate your current identity, which shapes your reality.
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Reticular Activating System (R.A.S).
The primary function of R.A.S. is to alert the higher brain centres when important messages are received and to filter incoming messages. It alerts the brain that information is on the way and tells the brain how important the messages are going to be. www.psychologydiscussion.net.
It allows important information to pass through into the conscious mind and blocks the rest so that you do not become overloaded with information. It can only focus on one set of messages at a time and cannot process conflicting information.
There are certain types of information that always seem to get through the gates of the RAS: for example, the sound of your name being called, anything that threatens your safety or that of your loved ones, or an indication from your partner concerning sex. Our brains are wired to bring these things to the top of our consciousness because they are considered highly important. www.study.com.
There is obviously a lot more information coming at us than just the above, and you can probably guess who decides what else is important — we do.
This can be a conscious decision based on our current thoughts and interests or a subconscious decision based on our deeply held beliefs and self-identity.
For example, you decide you want a new car, say an Audi Q3. All of a sudden, you see Q3’s everywhere!
When I got my dog, a border terrier, I started seeing borders all the time. I had never even noticed them before.
So, if you are constantly telling yourself you are broke, you are going to notice every situation that proves this point and overlook any situation that disproves it.
If you believe you are unworthy of love and respect, you will only pay attention to people who treat you badly and take those who show you love and respect for granted.
If you keep on reminding yourself of how unfit and unhealthy you are, you will only see opportunities to be so. You will not recognise opportunities to choose healthy ways of being because they are not on your radar.
The words “I am” and those that follow are powerful because they impact what information is filtered through your R.A.S.
Can you see why “I am” is so powerful and essential to your progress and development in every area of your life?
If there are changes you have been wanting to make or something you have wanted to start for a long time, look into what you are saying about yourself.
What is currently following “I am” that contradicts who you want to be?
Stop allowing these narratives to continue.
What needs to follow “I am” for you to move forwards?
Start using these narratives.
This has to be conscious action to start with. You need to choose thoughts and words that reshape your current identity and uncover your true self. You need to make conscious choices about what is important to you and therefore manipulate what information is being allowed in.
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Self-awareness is always the first step towards personal growth and development, so just being aware of when you are using “I am” to hold you back is enough to start making a difference.
From there, you can stop the narrative, stopping you from reinforcing a limiting self-identity and altering your R.A.S. filters.
You can then start to change the narrative to enforce an empowering self-identity and manipulate your R.A.S. filters to recognise information that propels you forward.
It’s time to start using “I am” to get you where you want to be in life!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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