Unexpected Things I’ve Learned After Being in a Healthy Partnership

My partner and I will be celebrating our second anniversary soon.

Looking back, these two years flew by. It’s been filled with many fun adventures, getting to know each other’s friends and families, and slowly merging our lives.

I’m so thankful for this life.

As much as I’ve gotten to know my partner, I’ve also learned so much about myself.

Here are 5 unexpected things I’ve learned.

Crying More Often

but in a good way.

As a logical person, I don’t like to display my emotions overtly or in grand gestures. I still feel them, but I like to keep my emotions to myself or express them in another way.

Now, I find myself tearing up more often than before.

Maybe it’s also because I’m getting older, but I no longer hold back my tears when I watch a movie, read something inspiring, or experience something moving.

I let my tears roll down my face.

Sometimes, crying makes you stronger.

Love Abounds And Not Holding Back

I used to be scared of loving too much. I thought that I would need a partner who loved me more than I loved him.

But that was because I was scared of loss. I was afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt.

Since I am in a loving relationship with my partner, I don’t think about our partnership in give-and-take terms. It’s so easy to give and receive love.

We both understand that although we try to do things 50–50, sometimes one person may need to step up more than the other person. This may happen both ways.

Another thing that I’ve learned is to forgive often. When we practice forgiveness, we let go of resentment and choose love instead. This is easier said than done, but always choose your partner over your ego, and don’t sweat the little things.

The funny thing about love is that it multiplies. The more I practice giving and receiving love and forgiveness, the more I find myself extending that same love to not only my partner but those around me too.

What comes around goes around.

There’s always room for more love.

Communicating Clearly

Communication is key in a relationship. How you work through conflicts and seek to understand each other comes down to how well you communicate with one another.

It doesn’t matter if you have different communication styles. The key point is to strive for mutual understanding and agreement.

Emotional intelligence and maturity can help with clear communication. Your words are powerful and can have a different type of impact depending on when and how you convey them.

I’ve learned to hold back my tongue more often than I expected — choosing the right moments to express my thoughts rather than risk hurting my partner. Or calling instead of texting so that I could make sure we’re on the same page.

A little goes a long way.

With patience and practice, you can also become a better communicator.

Compromises Not Sacrifices

When it comes to love, I think there’s a common misconception about compromises versus sacrifices.

The latter states that we need to drop everything and change ourselves to fit the expectations of our partners. If we aren’t able to do that, then it must mean that we don’t love them enough.

But love doesn’t work like that. Love isn’t conditional and based on what we can give.

On the other hand, compromises mean that you will try to meet your partner’s needs while making sure yours have already been met.

It’s about helping one another become your best selves while keeping your old hobbies and interests.

It’s about meeting each other’s friends while continuing to nourish your friendships.

It’s about spending time together, and time apart.

A relationship doesn’t have to be your everything. But make sure you are trying and doing your best to make it work.

Pleasing My Inner Child

It’s so important to have fun in a relationship!

My inner child comes out the most when I’m with my partner.

All of a sudden, I feel like a kid again.

We laugh and embrace.

Time seems to slow down.

Weekdays feel like weekends.

We make sure to prioritize having fun and downtime in our relationship, even if we’re busy.

It’s what works for us.

So learn to have fun, make compromises, communicate clearly, forgive easily, and love often. Life isn’t always easy, but with the right person, it makes it worthwhile and endearing.

P.S. I’m so grateful for my partner and all the wonderful relationships I have in my life!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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