We all have different voices. Michael Carosone writes about finding his.
VOICES
I.
I have found my voice
my gay voice
it was lost for too long
but I have found it
it was hated, hushed, and harassed
hiding, held hostage
frightened and fading
oppressed and orphaned—abandoned
bullied and beaten
ignored and isolated
tortured and tormented
drowned and dying
but now it screams
LOUD
It is angry. It is vengeful.
and it is not a rainbow
not lavender, not pink
not a triangle
it is what it is
it is its own—no more apologies
and it does not have a lisp
and it does not swish
it does not sing show tunes
it does not decorate
nor does it do hair
but it can if it wishes
it will not be contained in your convenient stereotype
it is not a sinner
nor is it a saint
it doesn’t believe in that religious nonsense anyway
it is not deviant/abnormal
it is not evil
it will not conform—it likes that it does not have to
it will not straighten its bend for you
it will straighten nothing for you
period
gaily, it screams
it screams it’s gay
Listen. It demands to be heard.
II.
I have found my voice
my Italian American voice
it was lost for too long
but I found it
underneath all of the neglect and negativity
I have found it
it is not red or white or green
and it is not
sweetened with vino
not drenched with olive oil
not seasoned with basil
oregano
not served with tomatoes
no food
period
it is angry
it will not be contained in your convenient stereotype
it demands respect
attention
to be heard
no more oppression
no more silence (no more omerta)
it wants to sing
but not opera
it doesn’t mind not fitting in
it doesn’t mind being the outcast
it doesn’t mind being different
unique
non-conformist
it doesn’t want to play the world’s absurd games
but it wants a seat at the table
not the dinner table
it wants to be noticed
valued
honored
praised
above all
it simply wants to be heard
Listen
III.
I have found my voice
My atheist voice
Oh, God, how it was lost
Lost because it is the only thing rational
in a very irrational world
Lost because it is the only thing logical
in a very illogical society
Lost because it is the only thing fearless
in a very fearful family
Lost like Moses and Jesus and Mohammad and Buddha and Krishna
The last closet door flung open
and my atheist voice came out, flew out
like the angels flying up to Heaven
My atheist voice was ignored, silenced, berated
No one wanted to hear from it and talk about it
It is a miracle that it has survived
Its bible is a book of philosophy
Not a book of myths and fairy tales
A book of literary fiction
Not a book of secrets and lies
A book of poetry
Not a book of psalms and hymns
Its gospel is freedom and independence and intelligence
Not oppression and brainwashing and ignorance
My atheist voice
believes in love and peace and nonviolence
Not hatred and war and murder
It does not follow the ideals of those religions
Listen
Photo: Howard Lake/Flickr