Every battle in your life is a battle you chose to fight. We love to say, “I had no choice!” but, actually, we always do. Fathers walk away from their unexpected sons all the time. People quit their jobs or do the minimum and wait to get fired.
It’s hard to see in those more severe, more consequential situations, but even then, sometimes, walking away is the best thing we can do. A child growing up without a father might become a happier adult than one with a mean drunk for a dad.
Ironically, we are sometimes less likely to back down in much smaller matters where, actually, the benefit of walking away should be much more obvious. What do you stand to gain from arguing with your spouse about where to keep the shampoo? What do you get out of being angry at your bank for rejecting your verification documents? Most of the time, the reward is just that — anger — and anger only knows one target: you.
“Pick your battles,” we say, and while that’s great advice, we usually think about the wars we actually care to fight when we share it. But what about the clashes we never wanted to wrestle out to begin with? Often, we can just drop them altogether. No consequences. No hurt feelings. Just more inner peace.
Every battle in your life only happens if you continue showing up for it. Choose to walk away when the only way to win is to let go, and you’ll have more energy to persist where it matters.
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This post was previously published on Niklas Göke’s blog
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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