I wake feeling nourished in my body with a subtle repentance echoing throughout. It was only yesterday that despair had found me hiding in my room uncertain of how to manage the next challenge. As I slipped down the rocky slope unable to find a footing, I felt a hand reach down and grab me by my belt. Upward the energy pulled as I looked up to find her there. My beloved.
Beyond the vast ambiguity of metaphor, I bore witness to an opportunity to see from two opposing perspectives. One would see the current situation as hopeless and yet another sign that I am failing fast. The other, a gentle scope that would reside with the awareness of a beautiful gift being given me.
So often and easily can I slip into a false perspective of doubt and dread. From this foggy view, survival and vengeance seem the only direction. But from the eyes of survival, I cannot see the magic. I can only see the knee-jerking chaos of sloshing waters as I wave my arms dramatically about, seeking the rope that I pray is waiting for me above.
If I were to calm myself, take a deep breath, and dip beneath the surface waves I may find a much more manageable current below and even a new pathway out. What’s more, this new pathway is not just the mitigation of a band-aid, but it is a pathway into something greater. Into something unknown. And Better.
“Let go…” the benevolent voice says.
“You’re out of your damn mind!!” the frantic reactionary words come flying from my head.
Softly the original prompt repeats again and again and I begin to feel the layers of soothing vibration as if being held in my mother’s arms as she lulls me gently to sleep.
Slowly, I let go.
Calmly taking a deep breath—perhaps my last—I dip below the waves and find her there, peacefully waiting with a smile of a thousand graces. With a soft and slightly playful glance towards my left, she wordlessly speaks the assurance I sought.
The way out is not the way out… It is the way in.
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