We Are Proof of the Invisible Thread Theory

How does love find you?

It finds you, and often it will take you by surprise.

My partner Dens and I met during the pandemic. A pandemic romance? It had been a question I asked myself when I wasn’t sure where the relationship was headed.

Honestly, I tried to quit on him very early on. With him being level-headed, we somehow managed to work it out, until we would have another argument, most of the time about nothing.

And because we met during the pandemic, I would have thoughts inside my head, what if he doesn’t love me anymore when the pandemic is over?

As someone who was also in grief after my Mom passed away, I was depleted, and countless times I thought what did I get myself into?

After mom died, I needed to restart my life after being one of her caregivers. I needed to find a way to make a living and at the same time process my grief.

Yet, here was I a few months into her death, I met someone on a dating app. Like most of the guys I met on the app, it was supposed to be a one-time meet-up that meant nothing.

And it usually ends that way, except this time he came back as he promised.

Since I live where there was the constant lockdown, I invited him to stay in my apartment.

It was my first time to live with someone, especially with someone I hardly knew, and yet we both agreed to be with each other. We learned a few things we had in common very quickly.

He too lost a parent, his father during the early part of the pandemic. He understood my feelings about my loss.

There were other similarities like he loved photography when I had been a cruise photographer many moons ago. We also love to read.

He happens to be an English professor.

One of the many things that he first noticed when he got into my apartment was my statue of David, a souvenir I bought in Florence when I was lucky enough to be there during one of my contracts as a cruise photographer.

He said he had a smaller one.

I jokingly said, but it was probably not from Florence.

He gave me a book as a gift and a few days later we celebrated his birthday.

It was like the perfect match.

Perfect match

There is no such thing, when everything is perfect there is no more room for growth. And in the moments of imperfection when there are lessons to be learned.

I quickly learned that he loves going out. Whenever there was a time during the pandemic when the government rules eased, he would be with his friends. At the time, with all the uncertainty of where the COVID virus was heading, I became more anxious about the possibility of being sick from it.

And later on, on New Year’s Eve, we did get sick of it.

When that happened, we were already settled in his apartment. I had to give up my apartment and move in with him, all because I found out he had a lot of stuff and it was impossible for him to move all his things in my apartment.

The following year was a test.

After many months of doing online classes, the schools reopened and that meant, he had to go to work.

Even when the pandemic eased, it didn’t mean you couldn’t get sick and it was always at the back of my head, that I could get sick.

All this time I was adjusting to a life of living with someone, at the same time still finding my way to make money online through writing.

I spent most days in front of the computer, reading and writing in the hope that I would find my writing voice and get enough readers to read my stories. It took a while and after many months of making very little, I was able to make some money to contribute to our monthly expenses.

My partner had been the provider, and I didn’t want to be a burden to him, yet it fell on his lap to be the one who provided for our needs.

Family

In 2022, we had a family of our own. We have two dogs our fur babies — Phi Phi and Crocker.

If not for them, we would have separated.

It would always come from me, not a threat but I didn’t want to fight for our relationship. It must have been all the bad breakups that happened in the past.

I was tired.

Yet, we managed to work it out.

And I have to admit, my partner has the patience of a man more mature than I will ever be, even if I’m nine years older than he is.

It continues to be not perfect, and yet today in 2024, we remain a family.

Invisible Thread Theory

Others call it the red thread theory,

There is an ancient Chinese proverb which says that “an invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance”. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break. Add to this proverb the Christian saying “Blessed be the ties that bind” and Mary Aikenhead’s mantra of Divine Providence and we have a red thread of destiny. — Source

One of the things that we found out about each other early on, that we did meet three years before we matched on a dating app.

Who would have thought that he found a photo of us together when I mentioned that my actor friend had her play in his school, to which he remembered that he was there too at the auditorium.

We may have been introduced but both of us can’t remember.

At the time when we first met, it wasn’t our time yet.

We are better these days, and whenever I doubt our relationship, I try to recall that we are somehow destined, how could we not be?

Not only was there a photo of us years before we dated, but my Mom was supposed to name me as Dens too.

As for why we remain together, I have to do my part and make sure that we both learn for each other, grow, and hopefully grow old together.

And to not let the invisible thread that binds us together be broken.

Thank you for reading.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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