This is what love looks like in my marriage.
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My prom date my husband of 15 years. A comfy pair of jeans. A goose down filled denim couch, comfy enough to not go to sleep with your wife?
We have had this in our family probably 12 years. A matching love seat and ottoman, the most comfortable couch.
♦◊♦
All marriages have their ups and downs; I am looking at this gesture as an up in my marriage. For things to change, actions must be made.
I can no longer have this conversation in my head, “What did I do wrong? Does he love me? Am I fat? Am I ugly? Am I not good enough? Am I not worth it? Do I smell? Is our couch more comfortable than our bed? Are our sheets old? Are our sheets cold? How did this happen?”
Slowly….. then all at once.
This conversation happens prior to me going to sleep in our bed while he is in the living room. Even in the middle of the night when I roll over, and he isn’t there. I have even mentioned putting the couch in our bedroom.
I would rather him be upset because of me putting the couch on our patio than be upset with myself every single day when he chooses not to sleep with me.
I am in control of my mind. I am in control of my actions. This is me taking control. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and if I sit around waiting for things to happen, they never will.
♦◊♦
I made it happen. This just happened, I moved our couch to our back patio. Couches are not made to sleep on. They are for family gatherings. Not for family separations
As long as I can remember, I have heard husbands have always been thrown on the couch or told to sleep on the couch when their wives are mad at them or even if they snore too loud.
Not this wife. Not our couch. Am I taking this to the extreme? Yes
I must confess. I love my husband. I love my family. I believe he belongs with me. Next to me. As I rest. As we rest. Together.
Don’t wait until your couch is on the back patio. The time is now, hug her, tell her you love her. Comfort her. Tell her everything is going to be OK.
When you ask her what she wants from you, she will tell you.
Signed,
Love for my husband
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Photo: Flickr/ Nate Chervek
“Don’t wait until your couch is on the back patio. The time is now, hug her, tell her you love her. Comfort her. Tell her everything is going to be OK. When you ask her what she wants from you, she will tell you.”
Wow, it’s all about what the husband must have done, His thinking that’s caused the problem and it’s HIS responsibility to make moves to rectify the problem.
As Emma stated, communication is important but just as important is to listen to what he says and by all means don’t minimize what he’s saying.
I hope you can both use the couch to have an actual conversation. Him sleeping on the couch is trying to communicate something. You putting it on the patio is also trying to communicate something. Both are very indirect and dramatic, meaning they stand a very low chance of being understood AS communication attempts. Neither will open the others heart or say what is true in your own. This would be a more direct way of communicating, for example: “I wonder if this couch has become a refuge for you, from some pain I don’t understand? I want you to… Read more »