We’ve been going slow. I get a sense that she takes a little longer to warm up — like all “wifey material” tends to be. Often, it isn’t easy to guess and analyze just exactly how she feels about me. It’s been two steps forward and one step backward. She doesn’t get upset over me the way girls do when they like a guy, nor does she show much rush to know me better. It leaves me craving more.
But because of rejection a few months ago, I’ve not had the courage to be more direct about my feelings, still haunted by those words along the lines of “you do your thing, and I’ll do mine.”
Right now I feel like a child kicking and screaming because my parents won’t let me eat my favorite ice cream. I don’t have the patience to be kept in suspense of her intentions. We’ve talked for over three months now, and I’ve only been able to meet her in person once. If she’s anywhere as infatuated as I am of her, there should be some signs by now. Yet she seems perfectly content doing her own thing, with a schedule packed with endless activities. Perhaps that’s her way of finding satisfaction outside of a relationship.
But I know there’s interest, or else she wouldn’t agree to hang out alone. Or stay engaged and curious in our conversations. The fact that she kept inviting me to snowboard and play badminton with her is enough to convince me she at least likes me somewhat.
I might just be a very low priority or one of her many options. To this date, I’m still unsure about her relationship status. To be fair, she doesn’t know mine either. That’s the point. The pace has been too slow.
However, I can’t rush. I have to trust that the flower will prosper in time. Forcing water and nutrient down its throat won’t speed up the growth but kill it instead.
What I have to do and can only do is give her space. Instead of pressuring her to reveal her feelings and take an intimate step towards me, I’ll simply let her take her time in deciding whether I’m a good fit for her.
When you give a certain amount of affection, you naturally expect the same in return. When you feel strongly about the other person, you wish they’d be in the same ballpark. But when they aren’t, it’s easy to become discouraged and frustrated.
That’s when you should remind yourself to stay even kilt despite how they respond. If they turn down your invitation, gracefully tell them it’s okay — because it is. Often they have legitimate reasons for not being able to make it. Even if they’re saying no due to the lack of interest, you can’t let this minor setback bother you too much. If they don’t text or call back, act as if it’s no big deal when you’re able to reach them because, again, it’s not the end of the world. The last thing you want to do is let your ego dictate how you react to someone’s dismissiveness towards you. It’ll only make you anxious, angry, and resentful.
Dating is more similar to a career than you think. It requires tremendous patience, endurance, perseverance, and emotional strength. It tests your character. But it’s well worth it.
This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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