What to Do When Your Friends Do Not Like Your Partner

Analyze the strength and intimacy of your friendships

Your true friends care about you and would want to save you from situations that they believe might turn out badly for you. When a friend expresses their dislike for your significant other,

a) analyze the depth of your friendship and confirm that they are operating from a good place,

b) factor in the length of your friendship, your gut instinct about their intentions, and whether their past actions have been of a true friend.

After clarifying this, you must understand why this person dislikes your significant other. There might be merit in what they are saying. Although it might be emotionally difficult for you, from an objective point of view, you might discover a red flag you were ignoring after having an honest conversation with your friend.

Pay attention to what your buddies are saying

It is very easy to get infatuated when you are attracted to someone, and the problem with infatuation is that it blurs your judgment; you ignore clear red flags and try to justify them. Your friends, however, are not emotionally connected to the other person and can judge your partner better.

Instead of getting defensive, sit calmly and view their stance objectively. There might be merit in what they are saying, and as I have said before, your friends may help you discover a clear red flag you were ignoring.

Make time to hang out with your friends and significant other

Your friends might have judged your significant other too quickly. Try to plan a meet-up with both and help them get to know each other one-on-one. They might discover sides of the other person that they were unaware of.

However, if, even after persistent effort, they find it hard to get along, you may meet your friends and your partner separately and ensure that you establish boundaries. Your partner must give you space to be with your friends, and your friends must offer you the space to be with their partner.

A word: I have yet to see such situations (when both parties do not like each other even after persistent effort) pan out very well in the long run. Still, I also have limited exposure to that area, so this observation is not a fact.

Avoid circumstances where tensions might rise

You will have to become a master at time management if you have unfortunately ended up in a situation where your friends do not like your partner. Manage your schedule so that neither party feels ignored.

The good news is that you both will have personal lives outside the relationship (if not, then there is a fundamental flaw in your relationship) and will develop friendships that you can cherish individually. So, even if your friends do not like your significant other, you can

a) still maintain your friendship because your relationship is only a part of your life and not your entire life, and

b) establish clear boundaries with your friends where they know that you have chosen your significant other and you would like them to respect your choice by not speaking ill of your partner.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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