What Women Want

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No, I’m not talking about the film with Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt, but I am talking about the same idea. It’s what every man wishes he could do: read women’s minds! The same could be said in reverse but, let’s face it, women tend to be far better at knowing what men want. Not only are they more emotionally in-tune with our feelings and actively listen to what we say, but men also tend to shout about exactly what they want and when they want it.

Okay, these are all massive generalizations but it’s true enough to make the following apply to an awful lot of men. It has been years of trial and error for me to work out exactly what it is they are after and, admitting the truth, which you probably know deep-down, will set you free.

There is no magic, one-size-fits-all solution to this question. If you want to truly know what they want, you’ve got to ask or at least become more sensitive to the signs. Why? Well because although many men may be equally as bad at reading women, all women are different. They all want different things.

Save yourself a lot of time and perhaps money investing in something which promises to give you ‘all the answers’. It’s a lie and they are likely to do much more damage to any serious relationship. Sure, you might be able to learn a few confidence hacks to look a bit sexier in the early days but do you want to spend the rest of your time acting?

Surely you want to find someone you feel you can be comfortable around. If you choose the latter (the true you) this actually takes a lot of confidence (REAL confidence) which gets you the same plus points and the massive cherry on the top is you will find the right person for you.

Okay, if you want to just find a super hot girl and sleep with her then, sure, hire a helicopter for a day, fly to your pretend island and end at a castle you have rented out for 20 minutes. It’s a very expensive and shallow way to live plus it’s a gamble. In the words of Shania Twain, “that won’t keep me warm on a long, cold, lonely night. That don’t impress me much.” Apologies if I’ve got that song stuck in your head now but it’s a great song to remember. Every woman wants different things and so why pretend you are (or you have) those things because there will be someone looking for who you are (and what you do or don’t have).

Conclusion? Think about what women want. Listen to them, talk to them: all the old school stuff. Equally important, however, is you ask yourself: what do you want? For any relationship to last both of you need to have your needs met. Treat the beginning of a relationship like the beginning, not the end. Don’t reach for the diamonds before you’ve even sat down. Take it slow and, however cliché it sounds, just be yourself.

Who wants to be loved for a character they are playing? When the ‘honeymoon period’ is over who you slowly start to unravel. Your relationship will go downhill and the time and money you spent on this charade will be wasted. I’m about to celebrate the third happiest year in a row of my life because I was honest about what I want, as well as listened to what she wanted. There is one thing no women wants and that is a fraud. You might be surprised how far the truth gets you because being yourself takes real class.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t work on who you are. We are all works in progress but don’t give up on the things you love and your principles. Don’t aim for a woman who you see smiling as you put a pearl necklace around her neck, but one who will cherish a map of the stars on the night you got together or a poem you wrote. A deep and real connection will bring a lifetime of happiness. The right woman will find you if she knows what you look like!

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Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood