In January 2013, my husband and I decided to expand our family by adopting a sister pup for our pup Chiayya.
What seemed to surprise us both was my husband had an immediate bond with her and when the foster mom asked if we were ready to make a decision, he said jumped in and said yes, we want her to come home to live with us. She pulled out the contact and the transaction was completed in a matter of minutes.
Almost from the beginning, she was very close to my husband and seemed to favor being near him or where she could watch him. It was fun to watch her attach to him so deeply.
She took to her new name, Abbey, and home with confidence. She came across as being in charge before she even knew the lay of the land. She knew she had come home to a loving home and her daddies would do anything for her to make her life better.
As we started to introduce structure with love to her, it was clear that we did not get the full story on her background. It was obvious by her reactions to things that she had experienced a severe set of traumas before coming home to live with us. Our hearts broke each time we tried to comfort her through storm anxiety or other triggers that set her off.
The family dynamics ended up being very clear, she was her daddy Mike’s baby girl, and Chaiyya was my ‘dude’. While they were close to both of us, they each had their favorite and we were okay with it as long as they knew that we loved them very much.
When my husband became seriously ill prior to his transplant, Abbey would not leave his side while he was at home and would look for him while he was away in the hospital. Their bond became even stronger as she rarely left his side all of these many years.
One time my husband was in the ICU on the ground floor with windows for several days before rallying and getting word that he would be moved to a room on a higher floor. Knowing how he and Abbey had not seen each other for about a week, I came up with a plan for them to see each other before he was on a higher floor.
I brought Abbey and Chaiyya to the ICU window where my husband could see them. When he called out her name she looked for him through the window. It was evident that bod that they shared, she seemed to calm down for the next few days and my husband recovered well enough to get home to her in a matter of days.
I often said, Abbey was his first love and I was his second love, and I never had an issue with it. I was happy for them both to have that bond and love.
Abbey was my husband’s pride and joy and the apple of his eye and he was always there for her. She was there for him as he fought hard to survive the challenges of life pre-transplant. They had a unique way of relating to each other that put a smile on my face when I watched them together.
She had all of the characteristics of a service pup without the actual certification. She was so supportive of my husband during those difficult times.
It only seemed natural that when we found out that Abbey had cancer that my husband would give back to her everything that she gave to him. Abbey knew to be close to him and only laid in front of his chair in the family room and on his side of the bed. She had to be where he could touch her or she could look at him.
She had her choice of several different styles of beds to lay on, she had her own blankets and pillows, and she had her choice of any food or treats that she wanted. She had a home visit from a groomer one day who made her even more beautiful and we could tell she knew it was all about her.
She was lavished with love and support during her final weeks and days and as she became more ill, we had to talk about how we could best support her. While we lamented over a pending decision, Abbey seemed to hear us.
On March 16 in the early evening, my husband gave Abbey some water and a cup of her favorite yogurt treat. Before she finished the yogurt, she started to make her transition.
We immediately sat with her close to our laps and loved her and talked to her as we felt her leaving us. My husband kept one hand on her chest as her breathing slowed down. I told him she wants to know you are okay with her leaving now, she was waiting for him to say goodbye.
He told her how much he loved her and how much she meant to him. He told her that he knew she would be without pain and that she could be with Chiayy again. Soon thereafter she went to sleep for the last time with us as close to her as we could be.
Abbey leaving us has been hardest on my husband and when he asked me if I would write about her, I knew it was a loving thing that I could do for him and her.
I wrote about Chaiyya going to sleep for the final time last April and it seemed to help me with the grieving process to put my thoughts out there for anyone to read. I hope these loving words about abbey give my husband some support at this sad time.
Anyone who has loved a pup knows that immense sadness and loss we experience when we find ourselves without them around in their usual places in our home. The emptiness that they leave in our lives is real and metaphorical-our hearts are shattered into a gazillion pieces when we feel them but can not be with them.
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image courtesy of author
It is amazing the bond that we are blessed to share with our beloved pets. They are the angels among us, sent down to shower us with love. I am so glad you had the time you did with your precious pups.