Ever swapped phone numbers with an absolute baddie only for her to bail on the date?

I went through a phase where seemingly every woman did that to me.

Since becoming a dating coach, I’ve learned it’s a normal phase. A symptom of still learning how modern dating works.

Thankfully, I’ve learned the most common reasons why this happens and how to avoid it.

No Meaningful Conversations

Many guys are way too friendly when approaching women.

Maybe they do a direct opener.

They say, “Oh, I like your style. You look so pretty. I wanted to talk.”

But after that, it’s just friendly talk. No flirting, no sexual tension.

Oftentimes, you seem kind and pleasant enough, so they give their number, but don’t respond.

You played it safe in your conversation and got that initial ‘win’.

But you didn’t spark that burning desire inside her, so she’s not excited to meet you again.

She can already enjoy pleasant vanilla conversation with her friends.

On the opposite side, men can also be too direct.

Maybe they’re charismatic, fun and flirtatious.

But they don’t show the real person behind it.

So, the woman doesn’t feel an emotional connection.

She might hand over her phone number because you revved her emotions and made her laugh.

But that’s not enough to make her want to meet you.

That’s what happened to me so often when I was still learning.

In an ideal world, you’ll tick both boxes.

Flirt a little, show your charisma, but also get to know each other.

Ejecting Early

Many guys treat approaching women like a SWAT mission.

They want to get in, obtain the phone number and quickly escape.

They think if they stay too long, they’ll say something stupid and screw things up.

But if you don’t spend enough time on your initial approach, she won’t feel enough of a bond.

The magic of approaching in person is standing out through human connection.

You lose that magic when you rush in for two minutes and run away.

So, spend as much time as possible in conversation before swapping details.

The longer you stay, the more she can trust her attraction to you.

Keep The Fire Burning

I became skilled at making fast impression on women.

I could spark their emotions, excite them, make them laugh.

Do the same and they’ll be excited to swap contact details.

But once you part ways, their excitement begins to fade.

This is why it’s important to build a strong lasting connection from the start.

It’s also smart to organise the date as soon as possible.

That way, her emotions and memories of you remain fresh.

Don’t listen to the old-school advice about waiting three days to text.

That’s outdated. We’re all addicted to smartphones now. We know it. Everyone knows it.

Maybe the three-day rule worked in the 1980s. Now all it achieves is helping her to forget about you.

Actually, You Shouldn’t Swap Phone Numbers At All

It’s 2025, you should be swapping Instagram details instead.

I’ve written several posts about why Instagram is essential for modern dating.

Let me summarise briefly here.

Instagram allows her to peek into your life.

If you’ve curated your profile correctly, it’ll show her all of your attractive qualities.

She gets to learn more about you.

You get to pop up in her feed with new content, reminding her of your awesomeness.

Swap numbers and you lose all that.

You just get 11 digits and her slowly forgetting how much she initially liked you.

It’s Time To Stand Out From The Crowd

Modern women are flakier than ever. That’s partly because online dating gives them more options.

You can stand out by approaching them in the real world, provided you avoid the mistakes listed above.

Once I eliminated these errors, my romantic life skyrocketed.

I wish the same for you.

Want to learn exactly how I approach and attract women in a variety of daytime venues? Join my free Skool group to access hours worth of infield footage and virtual coaching sessions.