In 2019, I traveled alone to Italy. I stayed in small, obscure AirBnBs, and traveled by train. I called it my F you trip.
Why? Because my son and my sister wouldn’t go with me. I had healing meniscus tears in my knee, and they thought they’d have to take care of me. They didn’t think it was safe for me to go alone, either. I proved them wrong on both counts.
Not without effort. I dropped my suitcase down a flight of stairs at the train station. Nobody told me there were no escalators and few elevators in Europe. A kind Italian man rescued my suitcase.
My first landlady, speaking limited English while I spoke no Italian, tried to guide me from the train stop. She repeatedly told me to “Cross the old bridge.” I counted six old bridges. She meant the Ponte Vecchio, the oldest of the six bridges which were older than any we have in the U.S., but I had no way of knowing that.
A manager at the restaurant where I’d dined earlier, rescued me from a refugee who tried to follow me to my AirBnB, telling me “I love you.” He found where I was staying, and was waiting outside as I turned the corner. I spotted him and ducked inside the restaurant, where the manager gave me coffee and let me wait the guy out.
Western culture has been a coupled one for so long, that both men and women don’t consider traveling alone. As we age, we lose spouses to divorce, or we become widowed. Unless friends or family travel with us, we should go alone. Every trip postponed might be our last opportunity.
How to maintain the health that you need when opportunity knocks
Recent research indicates that older people can maintain and even improve our health as we age. Even though my trip to Italy was affected by my healing torn meniscus, and pain throughout my body after walking 5 miles a day there, I was able to see and do all of what I wanted. I did the same recently in Scotland, which has seemingly endless stairs and inclines. This was 18 months after breaking both ankles at the same time.
I was a martial artist practitioner of Aikido until I was 60. I’ve lifted weights since my late 40s, and I dance. Exercise is more than a life extender. Learning I can move through pain keeps me from giving in to it on trips.
The CDC reports on how much exercise we need as we age:
At least 150 minutes a week (for example, 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week) of moderate-intensity activity such as brisk walking. Or they need 75 minutes a week of vigorous-intensity activity such as hiking, jogging, or running. (My son tells me walking actually burns more calories than running or jogging. I choose to believe that).
At least 2 days a week of activities that strengthen muscles.
Plus activities to improve balance, such as standing on one foot.
It’s also urgent we keep up with getting checked out physically. One of my sisters on the Scotland trip had difficulty with the terrain and the agenda. She had to stay back when my other sister and I toured the Isle of Skye, where we climbed large hills, and walked up and down steep inclines in freezing rain to see the rushing, sparkling Fairy Pools. After returning home, her doctors found a cyst on her spine that was causing pain and affecting her walking and stamina. Once removed, she can now move freely and pain free.
“There is no disease that occurs inevitably with aging; thus, while aging is a risk factor, it is neither a necessary nor sufficient cause for chronic diseases (Rothman et al., 2008).”
What are some of the once in a lifetime experiences you’ve put off
Do you often think of how your life would be different if you’d gone back to school, or gone to college at all?
My former mother-in-law, Margerie Lennox, finished her undergraduate degree, and went on to get a masters in Mental Health Counseling, graduating at age 64. She was my inspiration when I went back for my master’s degree in counseling at age 38.
Susan Brearley
, Editor of MuddyUm, Contemplate and other publications, and founder of the Garden of Neuro, finished a master’s in Psychology in her 60s and has started on another.
Edward Robson, PhD, MFA
went back in his 60s for the master’s of fine arts degree you see listed after his name and his Ph.D degree.
There are some grants and scholarships for older people returning to school. Click the link for a comprehensive list. Universities know we older people have the dedication and discipline to pursue higher learning.
Going back for degrees isn’t the only way to keep learning. You can take adult education classes in languages, painting, sculpting, writing, and many other subjects. Universities such as Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and MIT offer free online courses.
When someone asks you to attend a cultural or social event, say yes
“A 1996 study of more than 12,000 people in Sweden found that attending cultural events correlated with increased survival, while people who rarely attended cultural events had a higher risk of mortality.”
In my grandmother’s time, she and many people her age isolated. She lived on a farm and became increasingly unable to drive at night. Her mortality was directly related to being sedentary and genetic gut issues. She had worked hard all her life and deserved a rest, but being isolated was deadly for her, in my opinion.
I knew people who, when they were in their 70s and 80s, stayed active in their communities, churches, synagogues, and in social events. They also kept moving their bodies, some doing hard labor. One was a farmer who could pick up and throw hay bales over his head when his 30 year old helper could barely lift them.
Another was a woman who was a doctor when very few women were in that profession. She used a cane and was, in our youthful opinion, grumpy. Still, she showed up at church every week, and served on committees there into her nineties.
These aren’t examples of unusual people capable of doing unusual things. These are people like you and me, who maintained their health and refused to buy into the stereotypes of old age.
Often older people claim they can’t do as much as they used to.
It’s true we might need to take more precautions, but research indicates that the restrictions we attribute to “old age” are actually health issues from genetics or lifestyle or a combination.
“There is no disease that occurs inevitably with aging; thus, while aging is a risk factor, it is neither a necessary nor sufficient cause for chronic diseases (Rothman et al., 2008).”
I know it’s a shocking statement. It’s also being proven true. Click the link to read the research.
Taking care of our health, nutrition, weight, stress, mental health and all other aspects mitigates the risk factors of age for diseases.
I’m far from perfect at any of these, even stress management, and I’m a Psychotherapist — a Licensed Professional Counselor. However, my work on these aspects of human life made my solo trip to Italy and other places, and my accompanied trip to Scotland, possible.
Physical therapy, better nutrition and more exercise made the Scotland trip so much easier than the trip to Italy four years earlier when I was four years younger.
Getting less healthy with age is not inevitable.
Let’s do what we can to be ready to grab any or every opportunity of a lifetime when it appears. No matter our age.
Previously Published on Medium
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