Where Are All the Good Men, You Ask?

This story is only for readers who want to believe in love and relationships and who know they want one for sure.

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Table of Contents:

∘ Are the good men taken?
∘ But first… tell me something
∘ Could you write a love letter to your future husband?
∘ Lessons from my past
∘ Self-love — a deeply cathartic experience
∘ Inviting your future husband

Are the good men taken?

I come across the profiles of what seem “good men” often here on Medium. Feel free to go check one of them out: Profile 1. There are many that make it to the comments under my stories. I don’t know them in person, but if they say stuff like this, I know they’re serious about finding that woman. They may have their own issues like you do. We all have issues. They’re working on them.

The deal is to not let our issues become a barrier. For instance, bumping up against the same type of guys may seem like an issue. In reality it’s a pattern. And with the awareness of this pattern, you can make different choices, which will help you meet better matches.

So, instead of complaining “Where are all the good men?”, we could use our pattern awareness to make ourselves more aware as people, and put us on the path to achieve our goals and desires.

The question you want to ask yourself is if you’re that woman with awareness whom a man would want to marry. The reason I write is because I want women who want relationships to find proof of the existence of good men.

Nothing would make me happier than a reader finding the love of their life. Being in a loving relationship has brought the best out in me, and with that, I have even more to give. I can’t help share the lessons and spread the message of love. I want you to see the difference love — both self-love and being in a loving relationship — can bring in your own life.

But first… tell me something

Are you crystal clear about why you want a relationship? What is a man’s presence going to do for you? And what are you going to bring to the table?

The most important questions are the ones that bring you clarity. You have to be able to see in your mind’s eye the future you imagine. You have to believe in its existence for it to become a part of your reality.

Many people are stuck in having to “see it” to “believe it”. The law of attraction works without your conscious awareness, just like the law of gravity keeps you from floating away in air. You don’t have to turn on a switch to make gravity work, do you? You don’t have to “see” everything before you can believe in its existence, is the message I convey.

Could you write a love letter to your future husband?

Before you grab a paper and pen… wait. If you have never ever —

written a letter to yourself
been kind enough to love yourself
learned to love yourself

then,

You must first and foremost write a love letter to yourself, telling yourself the things you have been dying to hear. Here’s the love letter Paul Marsh has written to his future wife.

Lessons from my past

I’ve learned that if you can’t love yourself, you can’t possibly love another person. If you don’t want the best for you, you can’t want the best for others. If you don’t care about yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and financially, you couldn’t care about the wellbeing of another person.

If you’re hurting from previous relationships, the onus lies on you to heal yourself so that you leave that baggage where it belongs — in your past.

You have sit yourself down and ask yourself whether your hurt is what you want to bring with you everywhere you go.

You don’t attract what you want. You attract who you are.

So who are you? Who are you without that hurt from your past? Who are you without the beliefs that don’t serve you anymore? And what’s possible for you from being that person?

This clarity is very important if you wish to manifest a life partner with whom you have the best possible connection.

Self-love — a deeply cathartic experience

Self-love is why I keep on emphasizing on healing. Your healing is your responsibility. If you wish to manifest a beautiful relationship, then you can’t afford to focus your energy outward and blame and be a victim.

Being a victim is a disempowered state.

Ask yourself if you’d want a man who is disempowered? I bet 100% your answer is a No. I know from personal experience how painful such a relationship is.

Would you want a confident man who will value what you have to offer? I believe your answer is “Hell yeah!”

That’s why, when you leave your past hurt behind and you do whatever it takes to build your confidence and faith in yourself, it pays back. You become this person who is happier on the inside and more at peace with themselves from all the hard work of loving themselves.

Men want a woman who is at peace with herself, not a monster who is at war with who she is.

Inviting your future husband

Once you’re in that space, the letter you write to your future husband will come from a beautiful place in your heart where there is so much love, you can’t help but share it with someone equally awesome in your life.

And with all that hurt and past baggage gone, look at the beautiful space you have created to invite and welcome a loving soul.

The good men are out there, waiting to step in to that space.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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